Fail Quote: Rightists flame out with racism and incompetence

John Hawkins is a blogger at Right Wing News, Townhall and Pajamas Media. He’s featured on the official Romney campaign website. But most of all, he’s a loathsome far-Right crank:

A white woman voting for Barack Obama is like a black woman voting for the KKK.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) October 3, 2012

Because if there’s one thing that stands out in the Obama administration’s track record, it’s the oppression of White people.

Better yet, what is it that made him draw this conclusion? It’s the far-Right’s latest anti-Obama “bombshell” video revealing how then-Senator Obama (D-IL) supposedly went all Angry Black Man^TM mode and stuff by criticizing the federal government’s clusterfuck-ish response to Hurricane Katrina back in 2007, as did everyone else. And if people seem a little nonplussed at all the hype, that’s partially because the same people who did said hyping today also covered Obama’s remarks back when he first made them five years ago.

It would be terrifying that these people are the main opposition force in the United States today if they weren’t so terminally and delightfully incompetent.

(via @BuzzFeedAndrew; RT: @radleybalko)

Fail Quote: Fischer says it’s “no wonder” (allegedly) gay Libyan ambassador was (allegedly) molested

From American Family Association spokesbigot Bryan Fischer:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

BRYAN FISCHER: And by the way, this Christopher Stevens, it turns out that this guy was a well-known homosexual, and Hillary Clinton sent a homosexual to a Muslim country, to a place that executes homosexuals. And she sent him there to represent us. And so, it’s no wonder that he was sexually when they were hauling him out of the consulate and doing whatever they did to him in the street.

Of course, it turns out the late Ambassador Stevens’s gayness is only “well-known” within the far-Right crankosphere, where bigots are tripping over each other to repeat this latest fantasy from Hillbuzz’s Kevin DuJan, a conspiracy nut whose broken gaydar reportedly inspired WorldNetDaily Birther King Jerome Corsi’s present obsession with proving that President Obama is secretly gay.

But hey, I’m sure the rioting mob had much better sources. Why else would they target an American representative with violence, if not to rape and murder the gay out of him?

(via Right Wing Watch)

Tags: Bryan Fischer • Christopher Stevens • Libya • Kevin DuJan • Libyan riots

Fail Quote: MA Police chief says drug use is “domestic terrorism”

Today’s nugget of Drug War insanity comes from Wilmington, Massachusetts Police Chief Michael Begonis:

“Illicit drug use is a form of domestic terrorism to some extent. It is preying on folks who are more susceptible and who need a better life. And it’s something that we need to deal with head on.”

Following this pronouncement, the Chief presumably returned to his office and later ordered a SWAT team to break into a family home with a battering ram and flashbangs at 3 AM to arrest granny for using marijuana to help soothe her aching arthritis. Household pets may or may not be shot on sight and later declared to have been “threatening” to the submachine-gun-toting paramilitary officers.

Mike Riggs at Reason.com has more.

(via @radleybalko)

Tags: Michael Begonis • domestic terrorism • Wilmington Police Department • drug use • drug users

Fail Quote: Dana Loesch sees sexism (but not her own)

From CNN contributor and Right-wing loon Dana Loesch, writing about the popularity of “Sluts VOTE” buttons at the Democratic National Convention:

According to Roll Call reporter Steven Dennis, the Illinois delegation brought some swag to the DNC:

Because nothing says "respect women" like wearing a giant slut button.

Of course, those buttons are intended as a show of support for all the women who are regularly derided as worthless harlots simply for having the gall to demand easier access to crucial reproductive healthcare and, on a broader scale, stand up to those who view women fighting for recognition and equal treatment as threats who need to be drowned out in misogynistic vitriol. Such as with the “SlutWalk” protests, it’s an attempt at reclaiming the term from oppressors, much like how the LGBT community has all but nullified the use of ‘queer’ as a slur.

But, of course, to people like Dana Loesch, calling women (or women calling themselves) ‘sluts’ is totally demeaning and sexist and unacceptable. Unless, of course, said women are actually uppity feminists, in which case they’re totally just sluts – particularly to people like Dana Loesch:

RT @dloesch: If you expect me to pay higher insurance premiums to cover your "free" birth control, I can call you whatever I want.

— jezebel (@38_28_38) March 4, 2012

Because chipping in a tiny bit more to help protect other people’s livelihoods and make society a better place for everyone is totes just socialism!!!11!, amirite? (also, slut!)

Tags: Dana Loesch • misogyny • sluts • Sandra Fluke • Rush Limbaugh • War on Women

Fail Quote: Bachmann thinks Obama is too rich for voters

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

If you thought Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) was crazy before, get a load of her latest delusion:

President Obama is extremely wealthy. He and his wife have been wealthy for a number of years, and so I think that's really the issue. President Obama is wealthy, what do, or -- what does he understand about the common man right now?

And I think what people care about is not hating someone for what their assets are -- the American people don't hate President Obama because he's a very wealthy individual. What they care about is how their lives are, would their lives be better? And I think it's very clear under the Romney-Ryan ticket the average Americans' lives [sic] will be much better, they'll have a lot more money to spend in the way that they want, and they'll also have a much more secure future for their children. That's what the American people want, and that's what we'll offer with this new Romney-Ryan ticket.

Right. U.S. voters don’t trust President Obama because his great wealth (net worth: $11.8 million) prevents him from connecting with the average American. Whereas Mitt Romney is so much better … with his net worth of $250 million. Like, literally more than 21 times better.

I propose setting up a medical research unit to ensure there’s no risk that the viruses feasting on Bachmann’s brain could infect anyone else. HazMat suits will be required.

(via Joe. My. God.)

Tags: Michele Bachmann • Barack Obama • Mitt Romney

Fail Quote: Rove complains Obama never thanked Romney for not going Birther

Karl Rove

From Karl Rove, getting all huffy on Fox & Friends that the Obama campaign had the gall to bristle at Mitt Romney’s recent Birtherism-tinged joke when they never thanked him back when he was supposedly the only candidate who didn’t give into the Birther delusion earlier in the race:

ROVE: This is faux outrage, and we oughta accept it for what it is, which is the President’s campaign is hypocritical. This is not what they were doing a year and a half ago when people like Trump and Rick Perry and others were out there, pushing this line, and they certainly never gave any acknowledgment, were never gracious to the one guy who stood up and said, “This is all BS, he was born in Honolulu, we all know that.” And that was Mitt Romney.

What does he want, a fucking medal? I don’t think it’s customary to go around thanking anybody who says the equivalent to, “Why, no, I don’t believe my opponent is a puppy-kicking hospital arsonist”. That’s just expected. You don’t get a prize for exhibiting some basic decency and not going off the deep end.

Tags: Karl Rove • Mitt Romney • Barack Obama • Obama administration • Rick Perry • Donald Trump

Fail Quote: Limbaugh blames Obama for latest shooting

Rush Limbaugh

I honestly do my best to stay away from the likes of Rush Limbaugh most of the time, as the poisonous gasbag rarely has anything novel to offer amidst the bigoted freakshow he calls a radio program. But every now and then, I just have to let you know that he’s just said something exceptionally moronic:

The New York Daily News and a lot of the New York media and some of the television networks -- New York Daily News reporting that the Empire State Building shooter -- you heard about this? OK. New York Daily News reporting the Empire State Building shooter did indeed kill his boss. Well, he was fired yesterday [or a year ago … whichever, right?]. He went out there and he killed his boss. I wonder if Obama's constant warfare on bosses and so forth might have led this guy to pull the trigger.

He’s like a mildly less religion-addled Pat Robertson: Whereas the latter likes to blame all sorts of disasters on whatever minority or civil rights group he imagined pissed in his morning oatmeal, Rushbo prefers to point his slimy finger solely at the President, no matter what sorts of Olympic-level mental gymnastics he must force his brain through in the process.

I’m honestly not sure which is more loathsome. Can’t we just blast them both into orbit?

Tags: Rush Limbaugh • Barack Obama • Empire State Building shooting • Jeffrey Johnson • shootings

Fail Quote: Fischer compares Todd “legitimate rape” Akin to a rape victim

The fallout over Rep. Todd Akin’s (R-MO) “victims of ‘legitimate’ rape don’t get pregnant” remark continues, and several key crackpots are bucking even their own side’s general consensus that the Republican state senate nominee was wrong by actually rising to his defense, including the American Family Association’s crown bigot, Bryan Fischer:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

BRYAN FISCHER: Dennis Prager wants him out. Charles Krauthammer wants him out. Hugh Hewitt wants him out. Ann Coulter wants him out. The National Review editorial board wants him out. The Wall Street Journal editorial board wants him out. The Tea Party Express wants him out. So, virtually nobody, other than the Family Research Council and yours truly – even Rush, apparently now, is out saying that he oughta step aside.

So, everybody is gang-tackling Todd Akin. Now, you talk about a “forcible” situation; you talk about somebody being victim of kind of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin.

I know wingnuts aren’t the best at all this “freedom of speech” and “criticism isn’t censorship” stuff, but that’s still the first time I’ve heard critics who rebuke a public figure for saying something monumentally idiotic and outrageously offensive be compared to gang-rapists. Then again, that may just be me, given that my irony meter just exploded and sent shards of glass into my brain.

Tags: Bryan Fischer • American Family Association • Todd Akin • rape • forcible rape

Fail Quote: GOP Senate nominee says victims of “legitimate rape” don’t get pregnant (and therefore don’t need abortion rights)

Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)

In case you’ve somehow been stuck offline all day, here’s what Missouri Republican Senate nominee Rep. Todd Akin had to say about the recourses available to rape survivors:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Akin said that even in the worst-case scenario — when the supposed natural protections against unwanted pregnancy fail — abortion should still not be a legal option for the rape victim.

“Let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work, or something,” Akin said. “I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”

Right. “Legitimate” rape … as opposed to, y’know, all those fake rapes. Got taken advantage of when you were drunk, or drugged, or else some poor, grabby soul just couldn’t resist the allure of your body parts through your skimpy ensemble? Why, that’s just, like, totally normal and acceptable. Or maybe it’s just being benignly mischievous. But whatever it is, it’s definitely not rape-rape, after all – if there’s no screaming for help from a warehouse basement while Big Bob tears the clothes off your battered and bloodied limbs, then it just doesn’t count. Sorry ’bout that.

Unfortunately, you may well get pregnant anyway, ’cause as it turns out:

A 1996 study by the American Journal of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found “rape-related pregnancy occurs with significant frequency” and is “a cause of many unwanted pregnancies” — an estimated “32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year.”

I guess none of them were legitimately raped. Or is it possible Mr. Akin simply missed a few biology classes?

And of course, even those who are raped for realsies still shouldn’t have the right not to carry their aggressor’s seed around in their loins for the better part of a year … because terminating such an unwanted, unmerited and possibly dangerous pregnancy would be unfair punishment to the unthinking and unfeeling fetus. Nah, it’s better if it’s the very-much-thinking and feeling grown woman who bears that terrible burden instead. But hey, you just gotta keep squeezin’ those lemons, right?

Now, of course, all those mean, stuffed-shirt libruls in the lamestream media raised a fuss, and poor Rep. Akin was forced to apologize:

"In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it's clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year," Akin's statement said.

See? He just “misspoke”. By clearly referring to all those conversations he’s supposedly had with all those anonymous doctors. Just an honest little mistake, really.

In the end, even if Akin didn’t really mean it (and a half-assed notpology isn’t exactly convincing), that doesn’t change the fact that many of his Republican confrères do. But then, what else can you expect from a cabal of ideologues that includes science-denying physicians who distort and cherry-pick the facts to give birth to this reality-defying bullshit in the first place?

At least The Onion has it right.

(via Wonkette & @BreakingNews)

Tags: Todd Akin • rape • women • pro-life • anti-abortion • anti-abortionists

Fail Quote: Fischer explains how porn could incinerate us all!

Here’s the American Family Association’s arch-crackpot Bryan Fischer, fear-mongering about a recent warning issued to employees of the Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency to stop browsing porn on their work computers in case they accidentally download a virus that could compromise the missile defense network:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

BRYAN FISCHER: What’re the guys that operating our missile systems doing? They’re looking at pornography. Do not tell me – do not tell me that porn is a victimless crime. It is not. You and I could get incinerated, burned to a crisp, toasted, because some guy’s looking at porn instead of taking care of our missile defense system. Do not tell me it is a victimless crime.

Well, that’s a new one. I’m used to all the same tired prohibitionist claims about how all porn leads to the objectification and subjugation of women and destroys marriages and how it’s all sexual slavery and whatnot (because why use actual, reasonable arguments when you can just spout hysterical nonsense instead?). But I daresay “porn will kill us all with out-of-control nuclear missiles!” is the best I’ve heard, despite best being charitably filed in the “loonybin” section.

(via Right Wing Watch)

Tags: Bryan Fischer • pornography • Pentagon • Missile Defense Agency • porn sites

Fail Quote: Rep. Kelly compares contraception mandate to 9/11

Rep. Mike Kelly (R-PA)

So, this is a thing that was said in Congress recently:

"I know in your mind you can think of the times America was attacked," said Rep. Mike Kelly (R-Pa.), a freshman.

"One is December 7 — that is Pearl Harbor Day. Another was September 11 — that was the day of the terrorist attack.

"I want you to remember August 1, 2012 — the attack on our religious freedom. That is a date that will live in infamy, along with those other dates."

Oh, my dear sweet vapors! What a terribly grave injustice whatever Rep. Kelly is worried about must be! What is it? Are Christians being frogmarched into reeducation camps? Are homophobes having electrodes strapped to their balls to cure them of hateful thoughts? What terrible event, I beseech, is underway?

Starting Wednesday, most employers will have to cover contraception in their health plans without a co-pay.

Republicans have denounced the policy as an attack on the religious freedom of people who object to birth control or consider some forms equal to abortion.

… Oh. Right, Obama’s evil ’cause he wants women to stop nearly bankrupting themselves to maintain reproductive control over their bodies. And he did it in a way that would allow women to obtain their insurance from elsewhere than religious employers, thus relieving them of any obligation to provide coverage for medical services that get their undies in a twist. Now I remember.

Yeah, I can definitely see how that’s comparable to acts of war and terrorism that leave thousands dead, that.

(via ThinkProgress)

Tags: Mike Kelly • contraception mandate • birth control mandate • contraception • birth control • Pearl Harbor • 9/11 • September 11 • Obama administration

Fail Tweets: Stupidest reactions to Colorado shooting

With a fresh tragedy on the news, you had to know it would only take so long before some idiot said something vile and baseless. We’ve already had several wingnuts make the Colorado theater shooting about the U.S.’s supposed lack of Jesus, but supposed conservative comedian Patrick Schroeder on Twitter is the (un)lucky asshole who makes today’s Fail Quote installment:

All those people that died were probably atheists. #NeedJesus

— Patrick Schroeder (@Schrotime) July 20, 2012

Ha-ha-ha! It’s funny ’cause it’s … it’s … Wait, it’s actually not funny at all. It’s fucking demented.

And upon being called out:

All these atheists on my timeline make me #smdh... some of the ppl in that theater were too young for a PG13 movie anyway. #StillNeedJesus

— Patrick Schroeder (@Schrotime) July 20, 2012

“No, no, dig up, stupid!”

Not content with limiting himself to being a slimy bigoted asshole, he’s also offensively stupid:

Libtards already using tragedy to push anti-gun agenda. Never hear them say anything when it's our troops getting shot by guns overseas.

— Patrick Schroeder (@Schrotime) July 20, 2012

Because gun violence between civilians and armed conflicts between military troops = totally the same thing. Duh.

But hey, half-bit comics aren’t the only ones making asses of themselves:

#Aurora is trending, clearly about our Kim K inspired #Aurora dress ;) Shop: celebboutique.com/aurora-white-p…

— Celeb Boutique (@celebboutique) July 20, 2012

I think my brain just squeezed out through my ear and is hiding under the couch.

---

UPDATE: 07/20/12 3:00 PM ET —

Just as I post this, Celeb Boutique retracts their tweet and apologizes for “misunderstanding” the “#Aurora” trending topic. Benefit of the doubt?

(via @VeritasKnight)

Tags: Patrick Schroeder • Celeb Boutique • Twitter • atheists • mass shootings • Aurora, CO • Aurora, CO shooting

Fail Quote: Limbaugh thinks ‘Batman’ villain’s name is liberal attack on Romney

Rush Limbaugh

I’m again breaking my sorta-rule of not reporting on Rush Limbaugh’s ceaseless bilious flow out of amusement at his latest overly moronic conspiracy theory:

Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie -- what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something? Whatever the name of it is. That's right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there's now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date's been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?

… “Lights Up”? Really?

Of course, I’m sure Limbaugh also has a perfectly reasonable explanation for how Bane could be an attack directed at Romney’s vulturistic firm despite the fact that the character first appeared in the Batman universe in 1993, almost two decades before anyone even heard the name Bain Capital. Then again, maybe Limbaugh realized how stretched his line of unreasoning was, given that he then frantically tried to backpedal the very next day.

You know, that may well be the very first time El Rushbo’s ever let those “facts” things decide what he should or shouldn’t say on the air. And even then, his only attempt at righting his remarkable wrong is to try and deny that it ever happened in the first place. Don’t ever change, Rush. (You might just eventually lose your job that way.)

[source]

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

PANEL 1: (Batman) “Not only does ”Bane” represent “Bain”, but the hero is the “Dark Knight.” Dark. Like President Obama?”

PANEL 2: (Superman) “America’s greatest superhero is an illegal alien? Good luck convincing me that’s not a liberal plot!”

PANEL 3: (The Hulk) “So he gets angry, dumb and destructive. It’s an obvious Hollywood liberal diss of the Tea Party.”

PANEL 4: (Spiderman) “Mary Jane loves Peter Parker, but is engaged to John Jameson and kisses Harry Osborn? What a slut!”

Edit (07/18/12 5:26 PM ET) – Fixed “a decade” to “two decades”.

Tags: Rush Limbaugh • The Dark Knight Rises • Batman • Bane • Bain Capital • Mitt Romney

Fail Quote: FL Lt. Gov. says pretty Black women don’t lesbianate

Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll (R-FL)

It appears the relatively frenzied blogging streak of the previous week exhausted my muse, so here’s another dumb quote to keep this place alive. From Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll (R), responding to accusations of having an affair with one of her female aides:

The problem is that when you have these accusations that come out, it’s not just one person you’re attacking. It’s an entire family. My husband doesn’t want to hear that. He knows the type of woman I am. I mean, my kids know the type of woman I am. For twenty-nine years – I’m the one that’s married for twenty-nine years. The accuser is the one that’s been single for a long time. So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.

You know, it actually sounded quite reasonable until that petty dig, and it all just fell right off a cliff from there. Because lesbians can’t be pretty, naturally, especially if they’re Black. It’s just, like, biology or something.

Edit (07/16/12 5:30 PM ET) – Fixed a typo. (via Daz)

Tags: Jennifer Carroll • lesbians • lesbianism

Fail Quote: Penn Jillette really hates “cunt” Ophelia Benson [updated]

UPDATE (07/16/12 7:13 PM ET) – Confirmed fake. Turns out it’s just another one of misogynistic fucktard Franc Hoggle’s fabrications. Consider everything below this retracted.

I really used to love Penn Jillette from his Bullshit! days, before learning about his rather glaring ethical issues. And this is perhaps the most blatant yet, in an unsourced, screencapped Facebook comment about feminist blogger Ophelia Benson:

(Disclaimer: The only source I could find for this pic was this horrible little blog, which says nothing about the comment’s authenticity. If it turns out it’s a fake, consider this whole post retracted.)

However, the sad thing is how easily conceivable it is that Jillette actually wrote something like that, given what we’ve seen from him in the past (he’s catching up to Vox Day and Bill Donohue in the number of Fail Quote entries to his name on this blog). To be honest, I don’t believe he’s got anything against women in general, and I’d fully expect him to be one of the first to hammer on anyone who tried to take away women’s civil/legal rights. But just as there are other forms of racism than parading around in white robes or excusing Jim Crow, one doesn’t need to complain about women voters or try to force them beneath veils to exhibit the exact sort of latent, ingrained sexist streak that’s rampant throughout society – and that brave women like Ophelia Benson (along with too many others to count) are creating such a disturbance by protesting.

I would very much like to see what exactly triggered this reaction from him, though I don’t suppose it would matter much, given that there is nothing that would remotely excuse this sort of disgustingly gendered attack. I’m just wondering how much lower the man will have to sink before others start losing interest in him as well.

(Interesting note: Jillette (along with Teller) is a keynote speaker at TAM 2012, which is happening as of this writing. This, along with all those classy “I’m a woman and I feel safe at TAM” shirts, is a perfect representation of the problem – and the petulant contempt exhibited towards those who dare point to it.)

(via @rhysmorgan)

Tags: Penn Jillette • misogyny • Ophelia Benson • TAM • The Amaz!ng Meeting

Fail Quote: Rightist radio host says “atheist chicks are easy”

Scott Voorhees

Once again, I have to wonder why in the world atheist activists keep putting themselves through interviews on conservative TV and radio shows. It just never ends well, given that the presenters typically have all the brains and charm of moldy cheese. For today’s example, we have Right-wing radio host Scott Voorhees, all upset over the Midwest Freethought Conference taking place at the University of Nebraska next month and talking with Luke Hoffman, the former president of the UNO Secular Student Alliance, about a Christian-atheist debate his group helped organize last year [edited for style]:

HOFFMAN: [T]hat was why we were such a big deal on campus, because we hosted this event that was –

VOORHEES: So you didn’t go out and help build any homes, you didn’t clean oil off of birds, you didn’t help any poor people –

HOFFMAN: – we participated in democracy –

VOORHEES: – you didn’t do any food drives, you didn’t help the homeless. You had a debate. You know why the Christian kids helped you out in your debate? Because atheist chicks are easy. And a lot of them are goth and hot.

HOFFMAN: Wow … now that’s disgusting, dude. Seriously.

VOORHEES: Thanks a lot for your call. [Hangs up on Luke.]

Of course, those who called him out on his sexist assholery just didn’t “have a sense of humor”. Yeah – atheist gals are sluts! Ha-ha-ha! Oh, teh funnee! It’s funny ’cause they don’t believe in God! And they’re goth! Oh, but they’re hot, so I guess that makes it all okay. (And as Hemant points out, it’s also insulting to the Christians involved with the debate, insinuating that they were only in it for that promiscuous godless pussy.)

Funny how it was just a “joke” – yet no-one was laughing except for Voorhees. I guess atheophobes are right; nonbelievers must not have any God-given sense of humor after all. Unless it’s just a standards thing, such as “not laughing at stupid, bigoted garbage from skeevy radio clowns”.

Tags: Scott Voorhees • Luke Hoffman • atheists • women • KFAB • Omaha, NE • Midwest Freethought Conference • University of Nebraska

Fail Quote (redux): GOP candidate defends stupid cancer claim

Chris Collins

Well, this is redundant: a stupid quote about a previous stupid quote. Just last week, New York Republican Congressional nominee Chris Collins made some waves after declaring that the reason healthcare is so expensive in the U.S. is because it’s gotten so good – to the point where “[p]eople now don’t die from prostate cancer, breast cancer” and others. As some have noted, any point he may’ve thought he had against the need for healthcare reform was rather cleanly annulled by the approximately 68,000 men and women slated to die this year alone from those very diseases.

Well, he’s back, now providing a moronic excuse for his moronic statement:

According to the Batavian, Collins believes it's ridiculous that anyone would take his comments literally.

“Clearly, I’m not a politician," Collins said. "I come out of the private sector. I speak very directly. I actually answer questions. I’m not someone who filters, who is consistently filtering everything you say.”

Yeah, why would anyone be expected to take his words at face value? Just because he’s running for political office? Clearly, the guy’s not one of ’em political buffs with their fancy facts an’ stuff; he speaks from the gut, dang it. And if his gut happens to be full of crap, well, that’s everyone else’s problem for taking what he said seriously.

“Not a politician”, indeed. And with a little luck, he’ll stay that way.

(via Dispatches from the Culture Wars)

Tags: Chris Collins • Republicans • Republican Party • U.S. Congress • prostate cancer • breast cancer • cancer • healthcare reform • ObamaCare • Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act • PPACA

Fail Quote: Fischer accuses gays of “dark, venomous hatred”

Bryan Fischer

I think my ability to tune out whackaloons may be starting to slip, as I actually found myself paying attention to über-bigot Bryan Fischer’s latest anti-gay screeching:

I am convinced that there is plenty of hatred in the debate over homosexuality, there's a lot of hatred, there's a lot of vitriol, there's a lot of venom - it is coming from homosexuals themselves. The real haters are homosexuals. The real venom is coming from those that support the homosexual agenda, either homosexual activists, homosexuals, or those that support the homosexual agenda. They are the real haters. There is a heterophobic hatred, there is a Christophobic hatred that is just seething, there's a dark, venomous, demonic hatred that is in the homosexual community.

Those evil, society-destroying agitators from Hell are so mean to us poor, persecuted Christians!

Tags: Bryan Fischer • gays • homosexuality • homophobia

Fail Quote: Limbaugh blames Obama for 2008 job losses

Rush Limbaugh

I don’t usually take note whenever Rush Limbaugh lets loose some more verbal vomit over the airwaves these days, but it’s always amusing to note when he takes his characteristic Obama Derangement Syndrome to distinctly supernatural levels:

LIMBAUGH: The vast, vast majority of problems we have in this country are directly traceable to liberals, Democrats. And I know that that sounds simplistic and it probably is not persuasive, but I'm sorry, I don't know how else to say it. I really don't. And it isn't complicated. It isn't complicated to explain why these things are happening. And here's Henry Waxman -- well, you know, he inherited a horrible economy, hemorrhaging jobs in 2008 -- they started hemorrhaging jobs in this economy after Obama was elected in 2008. Go back and look at the monthly unemployment numbers and then take a look at November and December and then Jan-- the bottom fell out, the Wall Street bottom fell out, and it hasn't recovered. But these people had all the answers. Hope and change. Everything was going to be better now. They had miracles waiting to enact. Everything they have done has brought great damage to this economy under the guise of fixing it.

You read that right (assuming you could make it through all that swill): President Obama is so impossibly catastrophic (literally!) for the U.S. economy that he began crippling it several months before he even took office in January of 2009! Obviously, the man’s developed the ability to travel through time, bringing his job-killing, America-hating unemployment wreaking ball of Marxism with him to obliterate Wall Street in the half-a-year preceding his election and inauguration, all so that the country could pin the blame on George Bush while Obama installed anti-capitalism measures that garnered Wall Street record-breaking profits in the years since and … um … commi-socialism … something …

Crap, now my brain hurts. All this treasonous scheming is hard to follow. It’s almost as if the far-Right’s ceaseless Obama-bashing didn’t make any goddamn sense at all.

Tags: Rush Limbaugh • Barack Obama • Obama administration • United States • USA • Wall Street • employment

Fail Quote: Republican Congressional nominee says people don’t die from cancers anymore thanks to awesome healthcare

Chris Collins

You just know I had to bring your mood down, didn’t ya? From Republican Congressional nominee Chris Collins (NY), explaining his opposition to ObamaCare and why healthcare in the U.S. has gotten so expensive:

“People now don’t die from prostate cancer, breast cancer and some of the other things,” Collins said. “The fact of the matter is, our healthcare today is so much better, we’re living so much longer, because of innovations in drug development, surgical procedures, stents, implantable cardiac defibrillators, neural stimulators—they didn’t exist 10 years ago. The increase in cost is not because doctors are making a lot more money. It’s what you can get for healthcare, extending your life and curing diseases.”

Even if he did have a valid point about how rising healthcare costs can be excused because the U.S.’s healthcare system is getting so good that almost nobody’s dying from treatable illnesses anymore (and a wild guess says he doesn’t), there’s a combined total of around 68,000 men and women slated to die from those cancers this year alone who would very much beg to differ with the idea that this cancels out the need for reform.

(via Political Irony)

Tags: Chris Collins • prostate cancer • breast cancer • Republicans • GOP • cancer • healthcare reform • ObamaCare • Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act • PPACA