|Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)|
In case you’ve somehow been stuck offline all day, here’s what Missouri Republican Senate nominee Rep. Todd Akin had to say about the recourses available to rape survivors:
“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
Akin said that even in the worst-case scenario — when the supposed natural protections against unwanted pregnancy fail — abortion should still not be a legal option for the rape victim.
“Let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work, or something,” Akin said. “I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”
Right. “Legitimate” rape … as opposed to, y’know, all those fake rapes. Got taken advantage of when you were drunk, or drugged, or else some poor, grabby soul just couldn’t resist the allure of your body parts through your skimpy ensemble? Why, that’s just, like, totally normal and acceptable. Or maybe it’s just being benignly mischievous. But whatever it is, it’s definitely not rape-rape, after all – if there’s no screaming for help from a warehouse basement while Big Bob tears the clothes off your battered and bloodied limbs, then it just doesn’t count. Sorry ’bout that.
Unfortunately, you may well get pregnant anyway, ’cause as it turns out:
A 1996 study by the American Journal of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found “rape-related pregnancy occurs with significant frequency” and is “a cause of many unwanted pregnancies” — an estimated “32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year.”
I guess none of them were legitimately raped. Or is it possible Mr. Akin simply missed a few biology classes?
And of course, even those who are raped for realsies still shouldn’t have the right not to carry their aggressor’s seed around in their loins for the better part of a year … because terminating such an unwanted, unmerited and possibly dangerous pregnancy would be unfair punishment to the unthinking and unfeeling fetus. Nah, it’s better if it’s the very-much-thinking and feeling grown woman who bears that terrible burden instead. But hey, you just gotta keep squeezin’ those lemons, right?
Now, of course, all those mean, stuffed-shirt libruls in the lamestream media raised a fuss, and poor Rep. Akin was forced to apologize:
"In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it's clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year," Akin's statement said.
See? He just “misspoke”. By clearly referring to all those conversations he’s supposedly had with all those anonymous doctors. Just an honest little mistake, really.
In the end, even if Akin didn’t really mean it (and a half-assed notpology isn’t exactly convincing), that doesn’t change the fact that many of his Republican confrères do. But then, what else can you expect from a cabal of ideologues that includes science-denying physicians who distort and cherry-pick the facts to give birth to this reality-defying bullshit in the first place?
At least The Onion has it right.