Current TV’s Fugelsang rips into Sanford and South Carolina

So, South Carolina voters revealed just where their “family values” lie yesterday when they took Mark Sanford, their disgraced adulterous former Governor, and made him their Congressional Representative instead. John Fugelsang of Current TV’s Viewpoint tears him and the state’s long, sad history of political duplicity to tiny pieces in this wonderful rant:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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Transcript via Current TV:

JOHN FUGELSANG: Here’s a message from the South Carolina Board of Tourism: From the foothills of the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains to the cobblestone streets of historic Charleston, the Palmetto State is waiting for you.

So maybe it’s time you explored South Carolina’s greatest tourism attraction: our bottomless supply of duplicitous, double-talking, political tea-bags.

From our beloved and racist senator Strom Thurmond, who fought for segregation while secretly fathering a child he had with the family’s black maid — I’m sure it was consensual — to our beloved homophobe and longtime bachelor Sen. Lindsey Graham. From politician Joe Wilson screaming “You lie!” at America’s first black president during a State of the Union address to Sen. Jim DeMint opposing the Matthew Shepard / James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act before quitting his post to be a lobbyist to Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, comparing starving poor Americans to stray animals that breed too much.

In South Carolina, we’ve got a proud heritage of putting our faith in soulless fascists who feed us empty lines about the Bible, patriotism and fiscal responsibility, and that pride flies as high as the flag of the anti-American, enemy nation that rests majestically atop our state’s capitol.

And nowhere are our values more evident than in the political resurrection of former governor and newly elected congressman — and deeply repentant Christian — Mark Sanford, who South Carolina voters have returned to the House of Representatives, where he previously served three terms, in a special election tonight.

Now, lots of politicians commit adultery. But only one voted to impeach Bill Clinton while he was in Congress, then became governor and abandoned his post to visit his Argentine girlfriend using taxpayer funds to subsidize the trip while lying about his whereabouts to his staff, his wife and the entire state. Talk about a multitasker.

And after, he was charged with breaking 37 state ethics laws, was unanimously censured in lieu of being impeached, violated his court orders and child support agreement, publicly humiliated the mother of his children, and trespassed into her home to watch the Super Bowl.

Yes, this man brought sleaze to public life and remained faithful and true to it in the private sector too.

This same governor did all he could to keep federal stimulus funds from helping South Carolina’s unemployed folks and our crumbling public education system and then used taxpayer funds to pay for family vacations and book-signing travel. All this while we ranked No. 2 in unemployment and No. 11 in child homelessness.

But he did the right thing. He told us that Jesus forgave him and said mean things about Nancy Pelosi and Obamacare, proving that it’s OK to be a horrible Christian as long as you’re a good Christian.

So, come on down to South Carolina. And if you’re a lying, cheating, swindling, heartless, hypocrite, political empty suit who tells us what we want to hear, we just might elect you to office too.

And if you ever make a real mistake — like working with Democrats — well, we’ll give you a chance to mend your ways. Take Lindsey Graham, America’s sweetheart. Lindsey used to work with the Democrat Party on issues like immigration and climate change, so we censured him twice as public humiliation. And now he’s like an obedient, right-wing Tennessee Williams heroine who can’t stop screaming, “Benghazi!”

And while we may be ranked the fifth-worst state to make a living, ninth-lowest median household income, ninth-highest percentage of residents living below the poverty line, second-worst graduation rate, second-worst in women killed by men and worst in the so-called union at reprimanding bad doctors — we’ll never hold our Republicans responsible because they tell us who to blame and hate the same people we do.

Because from being the first state to quit America so we could keep slaves to cutting our state’s entire HIV/AIDS budget, we’ve got a breathtaking history of being manly men with a manly devotion to man’s inhumanity to man.

Our politicians believe Darwin was wrong, and we here in South Carolina are here to prove it.

You know when people wryly lament how “these people vote”? This is what they’re talking about.

(via Political Irony)

Daily Blend: Sunday, February 03, 2013

Jenny McCarthy

Canada’s Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation: “We invited Jenny McCarthy ^[pictured] to headline our fundraiser!” Internet: “WTF?” ORCF: “Um, whoops, sorry, never mind.”

President Obama: LGBT folk should be allowed in the Boy Scouts. Absolutely schadenfreudelicious Right-wing freak-out in 3 … 2 …

John Scalzi has a beautiful plan for dealing with Vox “Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit” Day’s endearing little obsession with him.
(via @BadAstronomer)

And finally, please, Slymepitters, do tell me all about how your wretched hive of scum and bigotry is actually a venue for enlightened discourse?
(via Pharyngula)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Jon Stewart hammers Fox News’s refusal to debate gun culture

The inane talking heads posing as journalists over at Fox News recently got their Second-Amendment-embroidered undies in a bunch when NBC sportscaster Bob Costas dared to break lockstep with the punditry’s complacence with the United States’s pervasive gun culture. As always, leave it to The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart to attempt to hammer home some basic common sense, not that he has much of a chance with their skulls so abnormally thick. Parts one and two:

Non-U.S. readers: Click here to learn how to enable Comedy Central videos (Firefox only)

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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JON STEWART: But recently, the sports world has suffered some tragic off-the-field incidents. The Dallas Cowboys lost a player in a drunk driving accident this past weekend; a murder-suicide involving a Kansas City Chiefs linebacker the weekend before. That led to sports commentator Bob Costas commentating on this during halftime in the Cowboys-Eagles game.

BOB COSTAS [12/06/12]: You want some actual perspective on this? Well, a bit of it comes from the Kansas City-based writer Jason Whitlock. […] From the end of his article: “Our current gun culture,” Whitlock wrote, “ensures that more and more domestic disputes will end in the ultimate tragedy.” […] “In the coming days, Jovan Belcher’s actions and their possible connection to football will be analyzed. Who knows? But here,” wrote Whitlock, “is what I believe. If Jovan Belcher didn’t possess a gun, he and Cassandra Perkins would both be alive today.”

STEWART: “And now, the marching band!”

All right, obviously, there’s a tragedy, it’s more complicated than that, and if we’re gonna start addressing issues, we can begin with gun culture, but you gotta talk about domestic abuse, mental illness, the head trauma, football, the drugs they give the guys for pain; I’m assuming Costas was leaving that to Cleatus, the Fox Robot, to take care of. But still!

What he was doing was trying to start a conversation, and … he succeeded.

LAURA INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: That belonged on NBC cable channel, I mean, you kinda expect that over there. You don’t expect that during a football game.

ERIC BOLLING [12/03/12]: It’s NFL Sunday, it’s halftime, ‘God Bless America’’s playing in the background. Do I really want Bob Costas giving me a dissertation on the Second Amendment? […] I wanna watch football!

STEWART: Really? ’Cause that’s when I go take a piss, but okay.

Yes, an NFL halftime show is no time to talk about violence in the NFL! It’s a time to watch endless slow-motion replays of that day’s hardest hits. “Zoinks! That was a great hit! Yeah, I think the guy’s brain came out of his ear-hole on that one! Suck it up like a man! Of course, he’ll never be the same again. All right, well done.”

---

JON STEWART: So, halftime isn’t the right time. Now, what about at a press conference? Like after the Aurora shootings, when the Mayor of New York called for an examination of gun laws?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE [07/23/12]: There were also bodies not even out of the theater, Dana, before he started to jump in this debate. Now, I think there is some level of political protocol that you need to have in a tragedy like this where you wait.

JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO [07/27/12]: Be quiet for 24 hours, at least!

STEWART: Clearly, in that situation, it’s not where it is being discussed, it’s when. I’m assuming that the venue was good; just that the mayor did not obey the commonsense waiting period we place on gun … conversations. You don’t want somebody in an emotional state just shooting off their … mouths.

But of course, it’s not just the “where” and the “when” of the conversation about guns; it’s the “who”!

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN [12/03/12]: Is this what you really wanna hear at halftime, sportscaster Bob Costas lecturing football fans – that means you – about gun control?

LAURA INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: Mr. Costas, you don’t know that much what you’re talking about, so stick to the area that you’re really smart about, which is sports. […] I wrote a book called Shut Up and Sing; this would be “Shut Up and Commentate on Sports”, because we’re not really interested in what Bob Costas thinks about guns.

STEWART: Right, but … why do you get to talk? ’Cause I – if I may, very quickly, no disrespect – I don’t much care what you have to say about anything. Yet, whenever I turn on the TV, you’re there, talking about everything. That’s the subject of my book, “Shut Up and Shut Up.”

So clearly, sports commentators, they don’t get to comment about gun violence, and singers don’t get to comment about gun violence, either, right, Fox?

FOX HOST #1 [12/03/12]: Ted Nugent issued a quote, saying, “We thought Bob Costas was smarter than that. Only fools blame tools instead of human failings.”

STEWART: How come that guy doesn’t have to shut up and sing? Or shut up and whatever it is that he does?

I’m beginning to figure out the rules, though. If you wanna talk about gun violence, gun culture, gun control, you gotta be a gun expert. You can’t just be some sportscaster or musician. And even the right person can’t talk about it if it’s too soon after a tragedy; it’s disrespectful. How long do you have to wait to say there should be more guns after a tragedy, like the shooting in Oslo?

FOX CONTRIBUTOR [07/24/11]: You have 600 people there, Geraldo –

GERALDO RIVERA: On that island.

CONTRIBUTOR: – on that island, and the security procedures that were there were noneffective. […] If you have a gun, Geraldo, you don’t have security. I have a big laugh when they ask me for a security guard, “but we don’t want them to have a gun.” If you don’t want security to have a gun, then you’re not having security.

STEWART: “That’s the thing about these Norwegians, lemme tell you somethin’. They don’t understand how much they need guns. It’s a harpoon culture. D’you understand what I’m sayin’? They shoot whales! They don’t know [?].”

That was about the mass killing in Norway, but at least they respectfully waited until … 48 hours afterwards. See, in fact, if you wanna have a conversation about our gun culture, you better make sure you’re being tasteful and respecting the victims and their families. Of course, if you’re trying not to have that conversation …

ERIC BOLLING [12/03/12]: This guy, six- – I dunno, 6’4”, 320 [lbs], he could’ve killed her with his bare hands. It wasn’t a gun that killed her, it was Jovan Belcher that killed her.

INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: I guess Costas does not think Belcher is strong enough to asphyxiate his girlfriend, or smart enough to hook up a hose into his garage and kill her through asphyxiation.

MEGYN KELLY [12/03/12]: Look at O.J. Simpson. […] He went over there with a knife, he murdered his ex-wife and her friend.

SEAN HANNITY: Was Nicole Brown killed with a gun, or was she killed with a knife?

STEWART: Yeah! Knife! Knife! Knife! Knife! Nicole Simpson was murdered with a knife! Does Costas wanna ban knives? ’Cause then, we’d have to cut steak with our guns, and that would be terrible!

Still, I think I get the rules now. I’m just trying to get the rules. You can talk about guns, just not in the immediate wake of any event involving guns. But with approximately 30 gun-related murders daily in the United States, when will it ever be the right time to talk about the issue?

CNN HOST [11/29/12]: A rare moment in New York City. Police say there were no reported slaying, stabbings, shootings or knifings during a 36-hour period from Sunday night to Tuesday morning.

STEWART: Aah, it was two weeks ago! We missed the [fucking] window! But why ruin the celebration?

“[W]hy do you get to talk? ’Cause I … don't much care about what you have to say about anything. Yet, whenever I turn on the TV, you’re there, talking about everything.” Perfect.

Daily Blend: Wednesday, November 21, 2012

John Fairfax

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists declares that birth control should be available over the counter. Not that such a sensible and provably effective measure has any chance of becoming reality in the foreseeable future, of course.

Nevada City proposes ordinance to make it illegal for homeless people to sleep outside without a permit.
(via @radleybalko)

New report: Only three developed countries (Mexico, Chile and Turkey) have a higher child poverty rate than the United States, and other disillusioning statistics.
(via @BuzzFeedAndrew)

Best obituary ever: “At 9, he settled a dispute with a pistol. At 13, he lit out for the Amazon jungle. At 20, he attempted suicide-by-jaguar. Afterward he was apprenticed to a pirate. To please his mother, who did not take kindly to his being a pirate, he briefly managed a mink farm […]” ^[pictured]
(via The Agitator)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Headline of the day: Better than an anti-science legislator

From former Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) district:

(Gawker)

Others include “ANY IDIOT IS BETTER”, “CTHULHU”, “THE GREAT PUMPKIN”, as well as those two incorrigibles, “ALBUS DUMBLEDORE” and “VOLDEMORT”. Add in the 4,000 who wrote in for “Charles Darwin” and my opinion of the voting masses is suddenly just a bit higher.

(via @radleybalko)

Daily Blend: Saturday, November 03, 2012

Walter White

Must-read: A U.S. historian explains in cogent and fascinating detail why he won’t be voting Republican for the foreseeable future.
(via Political Irony)

MythBusters go Breaking Bad ^[pictured] next spring. I think I just died from crystal-pure glee.

And finally, the “Greatest Generation” has a message about the election ^{[NSFW language]}:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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Enter the Rosebud Nursing Home.

TITLE: A MESSAGE FROM THE GREATEST GENERATION

MARIE (97): I was born in 1915 during World War I. My first vote was in 1940 for Franklin D. Roosevelt, and I have not missed an election since. And I want the Republican Party to know: If your voter suppression throughout this beautiful country enables Romney to oust Barack Obama, we will burn this motherfucker down.

ELDERLY HISPANIC MAN: Sí se puede. (“Yes we can.”)

DOROTHI (75): I have four generations of family on this Earth and my life has been very blessed. And if the Republicans steal this election, I’m gonna track down Mitt Romney and give him the world’s biggest cock-punch! … What’s the matter, sonny? You never heard that phrase, “cock-punch”? Haha … Right in the nut-sack.

JOHN (85): I served during World War II. I’m the last of my buddies still here. And I’ve got a message for kids, Democrats, for anyone who cares about honest elections: If you let the Republicans do this to you again, after we die, we’re gonna look down on you from Heaven and we’re gonna make a point of watching you have sex every time.

Dorothi raises her binoculars with a vindictive grin.

JOHN (CONT’D): No matter how kinky!

MARIE: Especially if we’re related.

JOHN: The best way to stop the GOP from stealing the election is to make sure it isn’t even close. Go to votersrising.org.

ALL: Sign up and [?] the vote!

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Maher on the importance of keeping Romney out of office

Bill Maher makes a strong point: However disappointing one may think President Obama has been, he’s at least given the nation a break from the Republican Party’s theocratic madness over the last four years. Here’s how electing Mitt Romney as the U.S.’s new Commander-in-Chief might just be a bad idea:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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BILL MAHER: America, before you get in bed with Mitt Romney, remember: He may seem like a nice fella from what we know about his core beliefs (nothing), his tax plan (nothing), his faith (off-limits) and his donors (anonymous), but a compulsive liar whose whole life is secret can get you a lot worse disease than Romneysia.

Now, when I talk about getting into bed with Mitt Romney, obviously, I don’t mean that literally. [jump cut?] What I’m trying to do is make an analogy to that old public service announcement about how when you go to bed with one person, you’re not just sleeping with them; you’re … well, it’s like that with Mitt. When you elect Mitt, you’re not just electing him; you’re electing every Right-wing nut he’s pandered to in the last ten years. If the Mitt-mobile does roll into Washington, it’ll be towing behind it the whole anti-intellectual, anti-science freakshow: the abstinence obsessives, the flat-Earthers, homeschoolers, the Holy Warriors, the anti-women social neanderthals, the closeted homosexuals, and every End-Timer who sees the Virgin Mary in the grass over the septic tank.

Now, I understand having issues with Obama, but stop to think of all the crap we haven’t had to deal with in the last four years. Anybody remember Terri Schiavo? Obama isn’t perfect, but he never turned the entire federal government into a Jesus-Freak episode of House. And he doesn’t have an Attorney General like John Ashcroft, who once covered up a statue at the Justice Department because it was showing too much tit. Like it was Janet Jackson.

I’m just saying: The last four years, no crises about boobies. No controversies about whether stem cells are actually tiny people. No Defense of Marriage Act. No Office of Faith-Based Initiatives. [Except Obama expanded it. —JM] No peddling Creationism at the national parks. Did you know that before Obama got in, the Smithsonian couldn’t mention global warming as a possible reason the glaciers were shrinking? Because heat melting ice was just a theory.

Yes, that was our daily diet of turd under the last sensible, business-minded Republican moderate. And before you say, “Well, that was then, this is now,” sitting in Congress right now, we’ve got a fresh can of nuts just waiting to be cracked open.

A few weeks ago, we heard from a Republican congressman named Paul Broun. Here he is, at a dead deer convention, telling his supporters that evolution, embryology and the Big Bang theory are all “lies straight from the pit of Hell”. And he’s on the Science Committee! Along with Todd Akin. Fuck, even the deer are rolling their eyes.

Mitt Romney might want a government full of sober gentlemen who discuss policy in quiet rooms; he’s also gonna get a bunch of snake handlers just spouting nonsense in antler-filled rooms. People like congressman Ralph Hall, who was chairman of the Science Committee and says that we don’t need to address global warming because “I don’t think we can control what God controls”. By that logic, why ever put out a fire? Or open an umbrella? Or wipe your ass?

This is what you get with today’s Republican Party. And a new Republican administration would be an “open for business” sign to all the bizarre, Bible-thumping bullshit that the Obama administration has given us a break from. And to those who say, “Oh, don’t worry, Mitt Romney will stand up to the extreme elements of his party,” there’s just one problem with that. It has the name “Mitt Romney” and the words “stand up” in the same sentence.

Yes, it may well be a case of lesser evils, but that’s still so much less evil that can be avoided come November 06.

(via Joe. My. God.)

Preacher gives typical anti-gay speech … or not

Pastor Phil Snider of Brentwood Christian Church in Springfield, Missouri attended a city council hearing back in August to rail against the city’s anti-discrimination law for including protections for LGBT folk. It’s all the same crap we’ve heard ten million times before – fear-mongering about special rights and the end of society as we know it and so on … until he appears to realize just how unoriginal he sounds. And what happens next makes the entire three-minute video entirely and epically worth it:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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REV. PHIL SNIDER: Good evening. My name is the Rev. Dr. Phil Snider. I was born and raised in Springfield, Missouri, and I stand before you this evening in support of this ordnance.

I worry about the future of our city. Any accurate reading of the Bible should make it clear that gay rights goes against the plain truth of the Word of God. As one preacher warns, Man and over stepping the boundary lines God has drawn by making special rights for gays and lesbians has taken another step in the direction of inviting the judgement of God upon our land. This step of gay rights is but another stepping stone toward the immorality and lawlessness that would be characteristic of the last days.

This ordnance represents a denial of all that we believe in and no-one should force it on us. It’s not that we don’t care about homosexuals, but it’s that our rights will be taken away, and un-Christian views will be forced on us and our children, for we will be forced to go against our personal morals.

Outside government agents are endeavoring to disturb God’s established order. It is not inline with the Bible. Do not let people lead you astray.

The liberals leading this movement do not believe the Bible any longer. But every good, substantial, Bible-believing, intelligent, orthodox Christian can read the word of God and know what is happening is not of God.

When you run into conflict with God’s established order, you have trouble. You do not produce harmony. You produce destruction and trouble and our city is in the greatest danger than it is ever been in its history.

The reason is that we’ve gotten away from the Bible of our forefathers. You see the right of segregation – I’m sorry, hold on.

The right … of segregation is clearly established by the holy scriptures … both by precept and example …

[One minute]

I’m sorry. I’ve brought the wrong notes with me this evening. I’ve borrowed my argument from the wrong century. It turns out what I have been reading to you this whole time is direct quotes from White preachers from the 1950s and the 1960s, all in support of racial segregation.

All I have done is simply take out the phrase “racial integration” and substituted it with the phrase “gay rights”. I guess the arguments I’ve been hearing around Springfield lately sounded so similar to these that I got them confused. I hope you will not make the same mistake. I hope you will stand on the right side of history. Thank you.

(To be honest, his introduction kinda gave away the punch for me, but your mileage may vary.)

You know what? I’m perfectly fine with him being a preacher. It’s not ideal, perhaps, but it beats the ever-loving hell out of the parasitic charlatans we have to deal with on a much more regular basis. Our world could do with a few less Pat Robertsons and a few more Rev. Sniders.

(via @BadAstronomer)

Dan Savage: “Every dead gay kid is a victory” for Tony Perkins

Tony Perkins

I don’t usually pay much attention to Dan Savage, who tends to be a tad too crass even for my tastes (not that he’s wrong, mind you), but he recently lashed out at Tony Perkins of the SPLC-recognized hate group Family Research Council in a brilliantly eviscerative speech at Minnesota’s Winona State University:

Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council — First of all, they tell, Tony Perkins tells parents whose kids come out to reject them. Tony Perkins tells the parents of queer kids to do what Tony Perkins damn well knows drives those kids to suicide — doubles their already quadruple rate of suicide. Why would someone who calls themselves a Christian do that? Because every dead gay kid is a victory for the Family Research Council. They argue that the gay lifestyle is sick and sinful and dangerous and they point to the suicide rate, and then they turn around and do everything in their power to make sure that suicide rate does not come down and to drive it up. Tony Perkins sits on a pile of dead gay kids every day when he goes to work — and he calls himself a Christian. I don’t understand how real Christians let that little fucker get away with that.

Of course, the point should be made that all Christians are “real” Christians; they just believe in different brands of Christianity, just as all believers pick which religious teachings they take to heart and which they ignore. But that nitpick aside, every point Savage makes is incontrovertibly true. It must be nice for Perkins to be able to rely on such insular thinking – LGBT teens are dirty little sinners, which makes them lost and conflicted, which makes them more suicidal, which is in no way related to all the hate and abuse being shoveled at them by people like Tony Perkins, who’re all about loving thy sinners and whatnot.

Savage’s speech was recorded and shared by Campus Reform, a conservative group devoted to combating all that pesky liberal bias in U.S. universities, with the evident intent of shaming Savage or some such. As expected, Savage isn’t exactly backing down:

I'm Dan Savage and I approved -- and stand by -- this message: bit.ly/SuUvWT

— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) October 1, 2012

Naturally, Perkins & co. are beyond rustled in their jimmies^*, with Perkins even hinting at a threat of legal action against Savage. Because how dare he get all huffy and rude and use pointy words when talking about a lying ghoul who uses the suicides of vulnerable children that he’s partly responsible for to peddle his hate-soaked agenda?

* Don’t make me use LMGTFY.com.

Daily Blend: Monday, September 17, 2012

Karen Handel

Wait, you mean the Islamic world is mostly pissed off because of all the U.S. bombings and military invasions? And here I thought it was all because of one stupid Internet video.
(via The Agitator)

Karen Handel ^[pictured], former Komen for the Cure VP who orchestrated the short-lived defunding of Planned Parenthood, becomes the latest Right-wing bully to accuse her victim of bullying. (Includes bonus childishly bad book title.)

Dear U.S. secularists: Please stop using these fake Founding Fathers quotes. You really don’t need to be using tricks from the religionist playbook.

Scientology lawyer publishes ineptly outraged letter over a Vanity Fair piece about Tom Cruise. Streisand Effect strikes again, baby.
(via @ebertchicago)

On the other hand, a Jack Daniel’s lawyer sets an example with the friendliest cease-and-desist letter ever.
(via @the_yamen)

And finally, Denmark gives us the most epic public transportation promotion ever:
(via Joe. My. God.)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Tags: Muslims • Islam • protests • riots • anti-Americanism • Innocence of Muslims • drone attacks • Karen Handel • Planned Parenthood • Planned Bullyhood • Susan G. Komen for the Cure • conservatives • wingnuts • Founding Fathers • secularists • atheists • fake quotes • Thomas Jefferson • John Adams • Abraham Lincoln • Christianity • Church of Scientology • Scientology • Vanity Fair • Tom Cruise • Maureen Orth • Jeffrey Riffer • Jack Daniel's • Jack Daniel's Properties • cease and desist • lawyers • Patrick Wensink • Denmark • buses • mass transit • public transportation • Midttrafik • The Bus

Daily Blend: Monday, September 10, 2012

James Yoakley

Guess what happened to a Tennessee high school teacher ^[pictured] who dared to defend atheist and LGBT students’ rights to free speech from their social-conservative administration? (Bittersweet ending.)

Oldie, but Dr. Rachael Dunlop has an awesome, all-in-one debunking of nine antivaccination lies and myths. (Includes bonus self-defeating antivaxxer attacks in the comments.)
(via Bad Astronomy)

And finally, give every U.S. President in history a combat knife, restore them to their peak physical condition, and throw them in an arena. Who would win? (Teddy FTW.)
(via @radleybalko)

@joemcken: I see him as the kind of guy who'd get revenge for nicking him by stabbing you in the eye twelve times with your own knife, and then call you a coward for not living to fight longer.

@VeritasKnight: No, he's more like...well, since we have to fight, then kills you, and laments the sad nature of human combat in a lusty voice.

(I just had to share that.)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Tags: Lenoir City High School • Krystal Myers • Zac Mitchell • James Yoakley • student journalism • student newspapers • vaccination • antivaccine • antivaccination • antivaccinationists • antivax • antivaxxers • Rachael Dunlop • U.S. President • POTUS

Exasperated protest sign of the day

I’ve been busy with my book lately, so here’s a quick little silence-breaker:

[source]

Me neither.

(via Pharyngula)

Tags: women • feminists • misogyny • protests • protestors • protest signs

Daily Blend: Monday, August 27, 2012

Reince Priebus

Wow: All nine bystanders who were injured during the recent Empire State Building shooting were hit by police. (But I’m sure random nobodies with conceal carry licenses would do much better!)

This year marks a new all-time record low for Arctic sea ice extent. But I’m sure it’s totally just a fluke, of course.

Very satisfying: MSNBC’s Chris Matthews unloads on Republican toady Reince Priebus ^[pictured] about the GOP’s playing of the “ethnic card” with Mitt Romney’s recent Birther joke.
(via @BilgeEbiri)

Biologists hook up a deceased squid’s tissue to an electrical current timed with ‘Insane in the Membrane’. SCIENCE! ensues.
(via Pharyngula)

And finally, here’s a little duckling offering its food to some hungry fish:
(via Cracked.com)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Tags: Empire State Building shooting • Jeffrey Johnson • NYPD • mass shootings • sea ice extent • global warming • climate change • Chris Matthews • Reince Priebus • Mitt Romney • Barack Obama • race card • racism • squid • chromatophores • Insane in the Membrane • Woods Hole squid • ducks • ducklings • fish • altruism

Tweet(s) of the Day: Godlessness and Minecraft

Quick background info (for the cave-dwellers among you): Notch is the creator of Minecraft, while Jeb is the current lead developer and designer; both are godless Swedes. And now, upon receiving some whiny missive from a pearl-clutcher:

@notch I'm afraid his friend can't play Minecraft. On the other hand, he shouldn't use computers at all. Alan Turing was gay and atheist.

— Jens Bergensten (@jeb_) August 10, 2012

Why, that Gawd fellow sure is petty. Then again, if the “friend” is above the age of five, they’ll be mining and crafting anyway the second our hypocritical complainant’s back is turned, so all’s well.

Tags: Minecraft • Markus Persson • Notch • atheists • Jens Bergensten • Jeb • Alan Turing • homosexuality • gays

Jon Stewart boils down the Chick-fil-A controversy

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show addressed the Chick-fil-A controversy last night, and summarized the whole affair so neatly, both in his condemnation of the mayors who actually did try to violate the organization’s First Amendment rights and with his poignant conclusion about the inevitable outcome of the LGBT marriage equality debate, that I just had to post it here:

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Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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JON STEWART: Now, you may wonder: “How did we get here?” It all started two weeks ago when people got wind of the Chick-fil-A CEO’s feelings about gay marriage.

CfA CEO DAN CATHY [07/26/12]: I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our first at him and say, “We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,” and I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is all about.

STEWART: Of course, it’s perfectly okay to have the audacity to re-engineer God’s chicken design to make them 95% breast meat and then drop a couple of strips of bacon and cheese on top of those bad boys, ’cause you can’t take everything the Leviticus [?], but all right.

Still, this man is a private citizen – he’s a private citizen. He is a private citizen; it’s a private business. He’s got every right to his opinions, just like other private citizens have a right to theirs.

YOUTUBER ON MSNBC [07/27/12]: To toss the word “Biblical” out there as a PR decision in a feel-good way of saying you’re homophobic without risking your business not only cheapens your Bible, but in my opinion, disrespects your God.

WOMAN PROTESTOR [07/26/12]: Those kinds of messages and that kind of rhetoric is very, very hurtful.

MSNBC’S THOMAS ROBERTS [07/27/12]: If you like marriage equality and you’re for marriage equality, and you go there that day, you’re a chicken-eating Judas.

STEWART: Is there really any other kind of Judas? […]

So basically, so far, we’ve got ourselves a pretty typical culture war skirmish. Doesn’t seem enough to warrant a Million Mouth March. Until …

MSNBC’S ERIC DYSON [07/26/12]: Boston Mayor Thomas Menino is promising to block Chick-fil-A from opening a store in Boston.

RICHARD HERMAN (CNN) [07/28/12]: The mayor, Rahm Emanuel, who threatens he’s not gonna allow Chick-fil-A in Chicago.

CNN ANCHORWOMAN [07/27/12]: And now, San Francisco is telling Chick-fil-A it is not welcome.

STEWART: Oh, boy. You know how the Right’s always complaining about the government persecuting them for their beliefs, mistaking not being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, for censorship? Uh, well, in this case, I’m pretty sure they got something. Pretty sure you can’t outlaw a company with perfectly legal business practices because you find their CEO’s views repellent. Not sure which Amendment covers that, but it’s probably in the top one.

I think maybe the mayors hadn’t thought this thing through.

BOSTON MAYOR MENINO [07/26/12]: I don’t want an individual who will continue to advocate against people’s rights, and that’s who I am, and that’s what Boston’s all about.

CHICAGO MAYOR EMANUEL: Chick-fil-A’s values are not Chicago values.

STEWART: Oh, really? Is being against gay marriage your standard of values? Because I’m pretty sure there’s already another franchise-based anti-gay-marriage organization with branches throughout your cities you more than likely embrace. [photo of Catholic cathedral] There it is. That’s the one. Over one billion served – albeit, very small portions.

Not that the Chick-fil-A-teurs themselves […] did not have their own issues with overreach.

MIKE HUCKABEE [08/01/12]: This is a big day, not for Chick-fil-A, but for America and for people who believe that the First Amendment applies to everybody, including Christians.

STEWART: You go, Christians! And don’t you stop until there is a church in every town in America! [puts hand to ear] Oh, really? How about every block? [hand to ear again] Really? Oh well.

Look, I have no idea what actually drove people to the Chick-fil-As yesterday. Supporting the First Amendment? Great! A statement about how you’re tired of getting pushed around by the gay agenda? Lame. You really like chicken sandwiches and had no idea yesterday was Litmus Test Lunch Day?

All I know is this: If the massive culture war Armageddon we’ve been dreading for years takes the form of record one-day chicken sandwich sales, maybe everybody walks away from this a winner. The Right finally has got themselves a legitimate First Amendment gripe, and as a bonus, a fried-meat-sandwich-based protest that can also be seen as a little bit of a “[fuck] you” to a certain someone’s healthy eating initiative. [picture of Michelle Obama]

And, for people who are gay or support gay marriage, I get how seeing thousands of people come out to make this statement is incredibly disheartening. But take solace in this: Gay marriage is happening. Like many drive-thru window lanes, it ain’t going backwards. And your bonus is this: You get gay marriage, and all your political opponents are going to get is type 2 diabetes.

So, here’s my prediction. In ten years, America will have a lot more gay marriage and a lot more Chick-fil-A restaurants, because they are both quality products.

Heads and nails, all of it. The only issue is that Stewart and other critics make it sound like the problem is all about the CEO’s personal bigotry, when the fact is that the company’s corporate profits have been funneled by the millions directly towards viciously homophobic Christianist groups that actively fight against any and all forms of LGBT rights, and who even support Uganda’s “kill the gays” bill (which is currently more or less in limbo, but not defeated). I couldn’t say how many who protest Chick-fil-A’s CEO’s anti-gay stance are aware of this particular little detail, but it seems like it would bear mentioning when discussing the company’s anti-gay policy, especially given how much clearer the whole issue becomes when it’s taken into consideration.

The Chick-fil-A issue is not about free speech. It’s about an organization that is lending direct support to groups that openly call for gays and lesbians to be stripped of their rights and even thrown in jail – and overseas, outright slaughtered. Anyone who goes and buys food at Chick-fil-A in a show of solidarity isn’t a patriotic supporter of religious freedom. They’re a bigot.

Edit (08/03/12 4:06 PM ET) – Slightly edited for style.

Tags: Jon Stewart • The Daily Show • Chick-fil-A • Dan Cathy • Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day • gay marriage • same-sex marriage • First Amendment • Boston, MA • Chicago, IL • San Francisco, CA • Thomas Menino • Rahm Emanuel • homophobia

Quote of the Day: Kyell Gold on Persecuted (Anti-Gay) Christians [updated]

From furry novelist Kyell Gold (yet again), writing about all those Christians claiming how the advancement of LGBT rights makes them feel so oppressed:

[Anti-gay Christians] are not the Jews in Nazi Germany; they are the Neanderthals looking around in bewilderment as more evolved humans take over their territory, beating their chests and screaming ineffectually in the face of inexorable progress.

Be sure to read the whole thing. (And a few of his books while you’re at it YEAH I WENT THERE.) Meanwhile, this has been neatly filed in with the rest of the Memorable Quotes.

---

UPDATE: 08/01/12 7:52 PM ET —

Kyell adds a note that I should’ve thought of: The comparison between homophobic conservatives and Neanderthals isn’t quite accurate, given that Neanderthals were evolutionarily unable to catch up with the more advanced Homo sapiens, whilst social conservatives have every choice to join the 21^st Century.

Tags: Kyell Gold • Chick-fil-A • gay marriage • same-sex marriage • Nazi Germany • Jews • Christian Persecution Complex

Daily Blend: Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Daniel Tosh

Phew! How’s that for a day of blogging? Now, if only the Internet would send me this many interesting stories every day … (On second thought, please don’t, Internet. I’d surely die.)

Survey: 5-10% of Canadians are LGBT. (You can count on the 18-34 age group being the most accurate, given the increasingly accepting climate they grew up in.)
(via Joe. My. God.)

“Comedian” Daniel Tosh ^[pictured] goes from terminally unfunny to straight-up asshole. (He has since apologized on Twitter.)

The Oatmeal’s final message to Charles Carreon.
(via @radleybalko)

Obama administration lays out rules for proper accommodations for temporary agricultural workers. Conservatives wingnuts: “Nanny State”!!!

Vox Day: Richard Dawkins criticized fellow evolutionary scientist over notoriously poor research, ergo, he’s a “deeply unpleasant individual”, and academic disagreement on a single detail means the entire Theory shouldn’t be taught in schools.

This totally unbiased, super-credible, WorldNetDaily-promoted Daily Caller report claims that 83% of U.S. doctors might quit over ObamaCare.
(via Joe. My. God.)

I spy with my little eye a new xkcd Q&A project! Go check it out. (It includes nuclear baseball.)

“I was raised to believe in god and now someone says they don’t believe in god so I don’t like it.”

And finally, PZ Myers posts his own (first-ever) vlog about the FtB/Thunderf00t kerfuffle:

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Tags: Canada • homosexuality • Forum Research • National Post • Daniel Tosh • rape jokes • rape • The Oatmeal • Matthew Inman • Charles Carreon • FunnyJunk • Obama administration • Barack Obama • Human Events • U.S. Department of Labor • Diane Katz • Heritage Foundation • conservatives • wingnuts • Theodore Beale • Vox Day • Richard Dawkins • E.O. Wilson • Theory of Evolution • group selection • ObamaCare • Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act • WorldNetDaily • WND • The Daily Caller • Doctor Patient Medical Association • DPMA • what if? • xkcd • baseball • speed of light • relativity • Omaha, NE • Omaha Coalition of Reason • atheist billboards • Emlyn Forsuh • PZ Myers • Thunderf00t • misogyny • Freethought Blogs • freethought

Daily Blend: Thursday, June 14, 2012

From the file of awesome surprises: Comcast ^[pictured] takes a stand for its clients’ privacy, refuses to cooperate in BitTorrent “shakedown” lawsuit.
(via The Agitator)

Two Alabama public TV managers fired after protesting Republican official’s demands to air revisionist Christian-nationalist program from pseudo-historian David Barton.

“He is not the pastor of the United States, he is the President of the United States.”

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Tags: Comcast • ISPs • Internet Service Providers • BitTorrent • filesharing • David Barton • Alabama Educational Television Commission • Alabama Public Television • Allan Pizzato • Pauline Howland • Rodney Herring • Frederick Haynes III • Friendship-West Baptist Church • Barack Obama • gay marriage • same-sex marriage • marriage equality

Bill Maher trashes so-called Liberty University

Sorry for the lack of blogging; I’ve been terribly uninspired these last few days (not to mention how this insane heat wave is almost literally melting my brain). To try and make up for it, here’s Bill Maher explaining how Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University is about as Orwellianly named as is Ken Ham’s Creation “Museum” ^{[brief sorta-NSFW image at the start]}:

My transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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BILL MAHER: And finally, new rule: You can’t expect me to believe anything Mitt Romney said last week at Liberty University, because A, he’s a liar, and B, Liberty University isn’t really a university. It’s not like an actual statesman visited a real college. It’s more like the Tupac hologram visited Disneyland and said what he would do as President during the Main Street Electrical Parade.

Yes, that’s right. Mitt Romney, from the Church of Jesus Christ: Indian Fighter, spoke on Saturday at a school founded by Jerry Falwell, a preacher who once said that AIDS was God’s wrath for fingering the Teletubbies. A guy in magic gym shorts talking to virgin Baptists. Clown, meet college.

But again, not really a college. Because Liberty teaches Creation Science. In fact, they have an actual center for Creation study, complete with some bones and a guy with a lab coat. Suck on that, Smithsonian Institute! And they teach that the Earth is five thousand years old and dinosaur fossils washed up on Noah’s Flood. This is a school you flunk out of when you get the answers right.

Now, I would say we should take away their accreditation, but it’s a private college and they can teach whatever they want. But at the very least, diplomas from Liberty should come with a huge asterisk next to your name, and at the bottom, it should say, “This institution teaches superstitious nonsense. Hire at your own risk.” Conservatives often say that gay marriage cheapens their marriage. Well, I think a diploma from Liberty cheapens my degree from a real school. I worked really hard for four years and sold a lot of drugs to get that thing.

So, if you wanna go to some place that teaches the Bible is literally true and the Earth was created last Tuesday when God got into gardening, that’s fine, but you can’t call it a university. Target serves pizza; doesn’t make it a restaurant. It’s just wrong for Liberty to hand out diplomas that look just like real diplomas from actual schools that teach facts. Look, this is the Liberty diploma, see? There’s no gold stars or smiley faces or Care Bears; it looks real!

But here’s the problem with confusing a church with a school: It mixes up the things you believe, religion, with the things we know, education. Then you start thinking that Creationism is science, and gay aversion therapy is psychology, and praying away hurricanes is meteorology. It’d be like teaching American history by saying the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were written by God, and even the world’s most ridiculous imbecile wouldn’t say that.

GLENN BECK (at commencement speech): It is God’s finger that wrote the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

MAHER: Mitt Romney recently told the crowd, “I happen to believe that the Constitution was not just brilliant, but probably inspired.” And everyone applauded, because they’d all seen this painting, James McNaughton’s One Nation Under God, which reinforces the now-mandatory Republican that the Constitution isn’t the work of brilliant-but-imperfect statesmen, but a divinely inspired blueprint, conceived by God himself and hand-delivered by his only begotten son, Kenny Loggins.

Sorry, but our Constitution wasn’t divinely inspired. It’s just that the guys who wrote it were smart ’cause they went to real colleges. Thomas Jefferson went to William & Mary. Madison went to Princeton. Alexander Hamilton went to Columbia. And those schools should not be put in the same category as Oral Roberts, or Bob Jones, or the Dueling Banjos College of Praying and Preaching – or Liberty, which not only shouldn’t be called a university, it shouldn’t be called “Liberty”, since it strictly forbids kissing or drinking. And if you’re in college and you can’t kiss or drink, good luck fucking.

“This is a school you flunk out of when you get the answers right.” Love it. “Liberty University” – as many words as there are errors.

In addition, in case you missed it, Right Wing Watch recently pointed out how “liberty” really has absolutely nothing to do with that creepy, puritanically fascistic place.

(via Friendly Atheist)

Tags: Bill Maher • Liberty University • Mitt Romney • universities • colleges

Bill Maher on Ozzie Guillén and Castro Crazy Syndrome

Because I just love inflicting him on y’all, here’s Bill Maher on the mindlessly hypocritical reaction to some sports player’s recent comments about Cuba and Fidel Castro:

Transcript (via Daily Kos): (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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And finally, New Rule: Fidel Castro is not worse than Vampire Hitler. And Cuba is not North Korea crossed with Hell. If we had opened up relations with Cuba 30 years ago, instead of pursuing the stupidest, most ineffective policy in American history not named the drug war, today Cuba would look like St. Barts, and your kid would be there on Spring Break, drinking shitty rum out of a jug shaped like a frog.

Now, in case you haven't heard, this week Castro Crazy Syndrome got clinical when Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillén was suspended for saying he admired the way Fidel Castro keeps not being dead. Worse, he made a groveling apology and promised, "I will learn from this." Well, I certainly hope so, because Castro's a Communist, and if you say something Communists don't like, they take away your job and send you to a re-education camp until you come out with the one approved opinion, and we wouldn't want to have that happen here in America.

Oh no. We have the First Amendment. If we give up freedom of speech, we could end up looking just like Cuba, and that would be a living hell because they get free health care! So you know what Ozzie said that was so unforgivable? He said he loved Castro because, "A lot of people have wanted to kill him for the last 60 years, but that motherfucker is still here!" So what? It sounds like a line from a Quentin Tarantino movie. Also, it's true. Despite all odds and all logic, Castro still draws breath. He's the political equivalent of Keith Richards.

And he is a badass, because we have been trying to kill him for 60 years. It's like me saying, "I love Dick Cheney, God's been trying to kill him since birth, and that motherfucker is still here."

And yet, the Marlins front office felt it necessary to release a statement saying, "The pain and suffering caused by Fidel Castro cannot be minimized." No, actually, the problem with Castro's evilness isn't it being minimized, it's being exaggerated. Now, has Castro done some bad dictator shit? Yes. But can we get some perspective, please, on Fidel Castro? There are worse dictators in Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Equatorial Guinea, and Turkmenistan, and those are just our friends! (audience applause)

Chairman Mao killed 50 million Chinese, nobody stopped ordering the moo shu pork. China is "Communist", and last time I checked, oh, every aisle at Walmart (audience applause), we seem to be trading with them. And they harvest organs from political prisoners while they're still alive. The reason you can buy a flat screen TV from Walmart for $30 bucks, it's because it's made out of human skin! It didn't start out flat, they starved it.

Was Hosni Mubarak less of a dictator and a torturer than Castro? I doubt it, and we loved him long time. As we did with the Shah of Iran, and Marcos, Mubutu, Soharto, Pinochet, and Saddam Hussein. We don't stop talking to Vladimir Putin, and he personally poisons people at the dinner table! And besides, wasn't Che Guevara the real badass in Cuba? Well, they sell t-shirts with his face at Urban Outfitters, nobody's apologizing for that.

But none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that Ozzie Guillén broke one of the great unspoken rules in American public life: Don't fuck with Miami Cubans! Cuz they're tough! Well, OK, macho men. The next time you see Castro, just remember what exactly you're so afraid of: an 85-year-old retiree in an Adidas track suit. Who, by the way, if you close one eye, looks exactly like every Jewish grandmother in Miami.

Maher has it right: Yes, Castro has done some vile dictatorial shit, which absolutely no-one is denying. But that’s simply not the point, here. It’s about the fascist hypocrisy in punishing someone solely for having opinions that run contrary to the so-called norm. Merely expressing appreciation for the fact that some old dude is still alive despite failing health and (more notably) over half a century of assassination attempts from the largest military superpower in human history does not imply support for said individual’s history or beliefs. This is akin to the sort of mindless partisan hackery that falsely equates agreeing with a given politician’s stand on one issue with wholehearted support for everything else they do, such as when civil libertarians are accused of being fans of Ron Paul because they agree with his opposition to the War on Drugs.

When all it takes for a man to be professionally and socially castigated is to recognize that the U.S. Government has failed to murder somebody, maybe it’s time for people to rethink their priorities a bit.

(via @ggreenwald)

Tags: Bill Maher • Fidel Castro • Cuba • Ozzie Guillén • Miami Marlins