Daily Blend: 04/24/13

Deepak Chopra

I promise I’m not dead! I think. Just reading a lot. And trying to work on my songs.

Also, the searchbar to the right now includes an image search. Just so you know.

A proposal: How about parents put on probation after killing one sick child with prayer lose custody of their remaining kids before they kill another one?

CNN is just actively trying to punish its viewers at this point.

What’s more hilarious than über-crackpot Deepak Chopra ^[pictured] whining about TED “censoring” pseudoscientific talks? (No, really, what?)

And finally, I’ve updated ‘A Morning by the Sea’ over at Creativitas.

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Daily Blend: 04/15/13

Gitmo

My thoughts and hopes go to Boston, MA today. How utterly senseless.

Alternate lede: “Sure, Gitmo detainees ^[pictured] were captured without charges and illegally imprisoned far away from home for many years with zero due process … but hey, they get to enjoy books and videogames (in between all that sleep deprivation and waterboarding)!”
(via @ggreenwald)

In response to UK’s current measles epidemic, The Independent gives platform to discredited quack responsible for modern anti-vaccination movement. (They later retracted the article.)

Canadian feminist becomes latest target of those compassionate, “human rights”-oriented Men’s Rights Activists.

And finally, here’s what religion has done for us this month:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

Massive Islamic protests in Bangladesh calling for the hanging of “blasphemous” bloggers;

The New Zealand Herald: “Beheadings in Papua New Guinea for sorcery”;

Five Jerusalem women arrested for violating Israeli law by praying out loud in public, which ultra-orthodox men find “provocative”;

The Guardian: “Muslim Brotherhood backlash against UN declaration on women rights”;

Hamas in Gaza Strip orders genderal segregation in all schools;

BBC News: “Kenya condom advert pulled after religious complaints”;

French man Wilfred de Bruijn assaulted and beaten for walking with his boyfriend in public;

Large anti-gay protests in Paris, France against pending same-sex marriage legislation;

Gay Star News: “Gay man ‘stoned to death’ in Somalia”;

Senior pastor Bertheophilus M. Bailey Sr. at Claremore, OK’s Mount Zion Baptist Church charged with punching his son in the face;

WHNT.com: “Former Franklin County Pastor Charged With Sexual Torture, Abuse”;

Teacher at Pleasanton, CA’s Centerpointe Christian Preschool ties up two-year-old girl for refusing to nap;

The Times: “Priest accused of sexual abuse at West Sussex children’s home”;

Indiana megachurch pastor Jack Schapp fired and jailed for molesting troubled 16-year-old girl across state lines;

BBC News: “Ex-priest Patrick McCabe sentenced for child abuse”;

Pastor Artelino Vallada at Toronto, CA’s Jesus Christ the Open Door Church charged with sexually assaulting four girls and women;

Irish Central: “Irish Priest accused of sexual abuse pleads with Pope Francis not to be dismissed from Church”;

Police confiscate computers from priest’s home after tracing downloads of child porn to his parish offices;

RTE News: “South African cardinal says paedophilia 'not a criminal condition'” [Which it isn’t. Child molestation is. Get it right, people. —JM]

Priest Angel Perez of Woodburn, OR’s Saint Luke Catholic Church accused of molesting 12-year-old boy;

al.com: “Former Wetumpka youth pastor sentenced to 10 years in prison in sexual abuse of child”;

Rev. David Kramer jailed for molesting young boys in US and Australia;

PostBulletin.com: “Oregon priest gets 6 years for child sex abuse”;

Associate pastor Darin Evans at Elmhurst, IL’s West Suburban Community Church imprisoned for having sex with an underaged girl in public spaces;

PressTV: “Austrian former priest charged with sexual abuse of minors”;

Rev. James Burnett of Mokena, IL’s Saint Mary’s Parish accused of molesting several young boys in his care; diocese accused of knowingly sheltering crooked priests;

Pink News: “Cardinal O’Brien alleged to have been in long-standing physical relationship with male priest”;

North Carolina Republican lawmakers propose bill to establish state religion (bill has since failed);

Oneindia: “Rajasthan: Video reveals family commits suicide to meet god”; and

Woman at church asks worshipers give “$100”, “$1,000” or “$150,000” if they can.

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Maher on media’s dewy-eyed treatment of Pope Francis

For all his faults, no-one’s quite as adept as Bill Maher when it comes to exposing the zaniness of religion and its sycophants. Here he is ripping on the mainstream media’s absurdly lovey-dovey coverage of Pope Francis, treating the 266^th self-declared shepherd of humanity as if he were just the most precious thing evar:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

(Original via Daily Kos; edited for format/style)

BILL MAHER: And finally, New Rule: The news media has to stop all this ridiculous, over-the-top coverage of the virgin bachelor.

[GRAPHIC: “The Virgin Bachelor” edition of US Weekly”]

MAHER: No, not that one. This one.

[GRAPHIC: TIME Magazine cover with Pope Francis]

MAHER: Now, I gotta tell you, I’ve just about had it with the press squealing in delight at every mundane thing the new Pope does. “Ooh, look, he walked across the street! He picked the name ‘Francis’! He shook hands!” Oh, fuck, he’s a 76-year-old executive who got a promotion; they act like he’s a baby who just made a boom-boom.

In his first tweet, the new Pope asked everybody to pray for him, and the media was blown away. “Wow, prayer. I never saw that coming. So out of the box. He is amazing. And did you hear he used to ride the bus?”

It’s like we’re all suddenly living in a papal tabloid. “Popes, they’re just like us!” “They like riding with the top down.” “They enjoy gossip.” “They put up with Joe Biden.”

Look: There are over a billion Catholics – just on the back of my gardener’s truck. So, I get it, that this is a legitimate news story, but can we at least stop saying that the job of Pope is so hard, such a burden, no-one would even want it?

What?! Okay, first of all, you’re selling an invisible product. It doesn’t get any easier than that. No-one’s ever going to come back from the dead and say, “Ah, it’s bullshit up there. There’s no heaven. It’s just an empty lot.”

Hard job? All the Pope does is talk and everything you say is right by definition. And you’re there for life; talk about tenure! And what other business could you be in where your company gets caught running a child sex ring since forever, and you still keep your customers?

And that is the advantage of being around for two thousand years. You know, people think all the Church’s rules and traditions come right from Jesus. But almost none of them do. The Catholic Church has basically always done what we do here at Real Time: It’s a bunch of guys sitting around making up New Rules.

For example: “New Rule: Confession”. Jesus never said anything about confession. Never even thought of it. They pulled that out of their ass in the 12^th Century. Just like they did with “New Rule: Women can’t be priests”. That’s also not in the Bible. Neither is celibacy for priests. We didn’t have that until the 4^th Century, and even then, priests could still get married. They just couldn’t have sex — like regular marriage.

Jesus also never said anything about a Pope, let alone that he should live in a palace and get carried around in a chair like Liz Taylor in Cleopatra. Or papal infallibility, another rectum-derived edict that came in the year 1870. It’s an eternal truth that’s 11 years younger than the escalator.

I remember the New Rule they made up when I was a little Catholic boy. Okay, first we had, “New Rule: No meat on Fridays.” And then one day — and I do mean one day — the Pope went, “Uh, this just in … Hold on, I’m getting something. New Rule: Meat okay on Fridays!”

I mean, the whole thing is just so shamelessly made up as they go along. Or, how about this whopper? New Rule: Not only does God have a son — who’s really him — but there’s also a “Holy Ghost” in there, and they’re all one person called the Trinity. A Catholic monk named Tertullian made up the Holy Ghost in the 3^rd Century. And after that, “It is true.”

I tell ya: Religion? It’s like Wikipedia. Anyone can write something in.

I must take exception to that closing zinger, though. Wikipedia is much more reliable and safer around children than the Catholic Church.

At any rate, you can tell Maher’s right on by how much froth one can imagine dribbling down Bill Donohue’s jowls in his outraged retort. Funny how he always focuses on how very very offensive the Church’s critics are rather than any of their actual arguments, eh?

(via Friendly Atheist)

Daily Blend: 03/22/13

Richard Littlejohn

Today in “there ought to be a hell”: Fuckbrained bigot Richard Littlejohn ^[pictured] and trash-rag extraordinaire Daily Mail succeed in blithely bullying a transgender schoolteacher into killing herself.
(via Pharyngula)

Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper (D) officially signs civil unions bill.
(via @breakingpol; RT: @BreakingNews)

Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear (D) vetoes “Religious Freedom Act” that would’ve permitted anti-gay discrimination based on bigots’ “sincerely held religious beliefs”. Expect wingnut heads to commence exploding shortly.
(via Joe. My. God.)

PZ Myers is dead on: Adria Richards did everything exactly right. It’s amazing how many men can’t stomach the idea of being called out publicly for misbehaving in public.

Pope Francis comes out swinging against Catholic Church’s track record with covering up clerical child abuse. Now to see if his actions match up with his words.
(via @BuzzFeedAndrew)

And finally, why is it still such a shock (to some) that women can be science aficionados, too?

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Headline of the Day: The Huffington Post on drones

Looks like Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-KY) filibuster is making waves in the right places:

All collateral damage, of course. And if they were a few years older, they’d all be “combatants”.

(via @BuzzFeedAndrew)

Headline of the Day: Creepy Craigslist edition

The details only make it better:

(UPROXX)

You’re welcome.

(via @radleybalko)

Worst lede ever?

Dr. George Doodnaught (accused)

Does Toronto Star columnist Rosie DiManno truly believe that this:

She lost a womb but gained a penis.

The former was being removed surgically — full hysterectomy — while the latter was forcibly shoved into her slack mouth.

… is a good introduction for a story about a doctor who’s being sued for sexually assaulting several patients during surgery?

No particular comment here, other than the mind just boggles.

(via @BuzzFeedAndrew)

Daily Blend: Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Stephen Colbert

I think we’ve officially reached the point where the NRA is doing to gun rights what PETA does to animal rights.

New York police get even creepier, now fighting war on prescription painkillers by hiding GPS trackers in fake pill bottles for unsuspecting pain patients druggies.
(via Joe. My. God.)

California judge blocks overbroad law that would destroy sex offenders’ free speech rights to anonymity online.

Good gawd are MRAs/PUAs pathetic. How grimly amusing that these silly little boys presume to call themselves “men”.
(via @jennifurret)

Oh, and Wonkette also has some fun with the sex-obsessed little toad.

And finally, following Jon Stewart’s lead, it’s Stephen Colbert’s ^[pictured] turn to shine on gun control [no time for a transcript, sorry]:

Non-U.S. readers: Click here to learn how to enable Comedy Central videos (Firefox only)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Jon Stewart slams failure to talk about gun control

Just last month, Jon Stewart of The Daily Show tore into the reactionary airheads at Fox News for steadfastly refusing to ever talk about the U.S.’s absurd gun culture and necessary, commonsensical measures for reducing gun violence. Now, he’s back for more and lays down what may be the authoritative hammering of the Right-wing’s continued failure to accept that their blind infatuation with firearms may be stinting their ability to recognize that which is overwhelmingly obvious to everyone else (parts one and two):

Non-U.S. readers: Click here to learn how to enable Comedy Central videos (Firefox only)

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

JON STEWART: In the wake of some events that have happened – Newtown, Aurora, Portland, Tucson – it’s a 22-minute show, so I’m not gonna list everything. But finally, everyone from the NRA to the Marin County Kumbaya Patrol is ready to talk about gun violence. Though, to be fair to Kumbaya Patrol, they’ve been ready for quite some time, now.

So let’s have that conversation, people. Nothing’s off the table, no bad ideas, a safe space. Let’s start the discussion on gun violence. Let’s start with the discussion of gun control.

NRA EXECUTIVE VP WAYNE LAPIERRE [12/23/12]: Gun control […] it’s not gonna make any kids safer. We gotta get to the real problem, the real causes.

STEWART: Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed that beginning the conversation on gun control meant starting with … guns. But you, uh … you wanna talk about the non-gun causes of … gun violence. Well, you know what? It’s a conversation. No bad ideas. Maybe there are other factors we should look at. Let’s see – what other non-gun causes are we talking about, here?

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN [01/06/13]: With have so much violence surrounding us that we think is okay.

LAPIERRE [12/21/12]: Violent videogames with names like Bulletstorm […] Grand Theft Auto […] Mortal Kombat […] Splatterhouse […] Blood-soaked films out there. […] American Psycho […] Natural Born Killers[.]

STEWART: Natural Born Killers and American Psycho? Holy …! Has it been that long since we’ve had a conversation about gun control? Been that long since we deflected the gun control argument with the “corrupt Hollywood media culture” argument?

But actually, you know what? That French guy has a point. It may be an indirect influence, but there is no question that we glorify violence in our culture and it’s something we have to consider. If a massacre occurs in a schoolhouse and TV network heads have to scramble to see if that storyline’s gonna bump up against the network’s prime-time episodic schedule, that’s a [fucking] problem. “Oh, is this terrible massacre gonna affect our new show, Massacre, Fridays at 8? The hot new lead-in to Corpse Raper Intent: SVU? Starring …” I dunno who that is. Nick Carter and young Gallagher.

Look, man. As for violent videogames, yeah, I guess they’re out there, but then again, the Dutch spend more than twice as much on videogames as we do and have less than a tenth of the gun violence. Although, to be fair, most of their games are of the first-person dike-plugger genre.

So, yeah. Maybe we need to talk about whether our culture is adding to the soup. That’s gotta be on the table. But if we’re gonna talk about that, let’s look at all of our culture. The Right likes to talk about Hollywood’s influence on that, but are there other media influences that must also be examined?

FOX ANCHOR #1 [02/26/03]: Are there terror cells in your neighborhood?

FOX ANCHOR #2 [11/06/12]: The New Black Panther Party’s outside a polling place.

DICK MORRIS [08/18/10]: These Sharia mosques have become the command centers for terrorists.

SEAN HANNITY [04/07/10]: The end of Capitalism in America.

RUSH LIMBAUGH [11/08/12]: We’re four years into tyranny winning!

HANNITY [09/24/12]: This is indoctrination of kids.

GLENN BECK [11/07/12]: If you live in the East, may I recommend: Get the hell out of the East.

BILL O’REILLY [08/04/08]: It’s gonna be Armageddon.

BECK [11/07/12]: Your religion is gonna come under attack.

HANNITY GUEST [10/01/12]: If Obama’s reelected, this country’s over!

Stewart clutches toy AR-15 assault rifle in fear.

STEWART: What? I’m not sure what happened; I’m sorry, I blacked out in the middle of that and woke up with an AK in my, I dunno! Or whatever this is. I’m sure I’ll get letters about what this really is … which is plastic, is what it really is.

Stewart puts the gun away.

STEWART: But it puts us back to the more direct issue of guns.

FOX GUEST [06/29/10]: Gun control doesn’t work.

STEWART: … Or not. I keep forgetting. What else?

LAPIERRE: We have a mental health system in this country that is completely and totally collapsed.

STEWART: Okay, okay – again, 100% correct. Thank you, Wayne LaPierre, for bringing this up. We closed the mental institutions in many respects, and now, our mentally ill live on the streets or are in prison, and it is untenable. It is up to us to help them find compassionate, proactive care. This is what we have to address in our mental health system. I’m assuming that’s what you mean.

LAPIERRE: We have no national database of these lunatics.

STEWART: Or that. Or that. I was gonna say compassionate, total care of mental illness, or … “lunatic database”. Although, isn’t that what the Internet is? Isn’t that a national lunatic database? What would be the criterion for the lunatic database? What are the kinds of things you would say to get on it?

LAPIERRE [07/05/12]: Americans don’t wanna be added to that pile of dead people that have been left defenseless by the U.N. policies.

STEWART: [writing on paper] “LaPierre” with two ‘r’s or one?

Look – I don’t wanna kill the conversation before it starts. Yes, mental healthcare absolutely has to be on the table, has to be improved. But someone’s always gonna slip through the cracks, and our mental health problem leads to other problems: crime, guns, violence …

MIKE HUCKABEE [07/21/12]: Ultimately, we don’t have a crime problem, or a gun problem, or even a violence problem. What we have is a sin problem.

STEWART: [beat] Is this about me masturbating? Is that what this is about? Look, I didn’t know … that that is considered a national issue.

Look. We can dance around the issue all we want. We can blame movies, or videogames, or the mentally ill, or God – it’s a complex problem and all solutions have to be on the table, but it is time we talk about guns.

ERIC BOLLING [12/17/12]: I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna do this gun control discussion right now. There’s a day, a place and a time for all that […]

STEWART: It’s today. Right now. It is absolutely time to talk about gun control, and nothing is – [puts finger to ear] Wait, I’m sorry. I just heard we need to take a commercial break. Guess we’ll talk about guns when we come back. We’ll be right back.

---

STEWART: We’ve learned in our conversation about this country’s staggering number of gun-related deaths that it’s based on a surprising amount of non-gun factors: God, media, and crazy people.

GRAPHIC: God, cable news channels, and man in straightjacket

STEWART: Wow. That’s a pretty busy graphic. Can we streamline that, and yet also represent all three constituencies?

CLIP: Mike Huckabee talking on Fox News.

STEWART: There you go. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this conversation is taking place between parties of good faith, and that all of us, on any side of the debate, are anti-massacre. If some commonsense firearms regulations might cut the number of these killings, why not try?

SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO [01/07/13]: We have many, many laws pertaining to guns already. We oughta enforce those laws.

MAN [01/07/13]: We already have laws banning murder, but we still have murders.

JESSE VENTURA [09/17/12]: Drunk driving. Do we go to the Ford Motor Company and tell them “stop making these automobiles because people get drunk and kill people in cars”?

STEWART: No, but we do enact stricter blood-alcohol limits, raise the drinking age, ramp up enforcement and penalties insurance, charge bartenders who serve drunks, and launch huge public awareness campaigns to stigmatize the dangerous behavior in question, and we do all those things because it might just help bring drunk driving down, I don’t know, by 2/3 in a few decades.

GRAPHIC: Drunk driving rates: 7.5% in 1973, 5.4% in 1986, 4.3% in 1996, 2.2% in 2007

STEWART: Like magazine sizes. Smaller magazines for guns make these crazy people have to reload more.

SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC) [12/23/12]: Changing a magazine, I can do that pretty quick.

STEWART: Yeah, but you’re Fast-Fingers Graham! The foremost gun enthusiast-slash-speed origami champion in the world! He made that in three seconds. How he uses his heavily callused gun hands to make such delicate paper art … why, it’s a mystery.

All right, magazine restrictions won’t help. How ’bout we keep all the guns except weapons designed purely to efficiently shred enemy soldiers?

NRA PRES. DAVID A. KEENE [12/23/12]: We’ve had a so-called assault weapons ban for ten years. […] The Justice Department, others who study it, said it made no difference.

FOX GUEST #2 [12/24/12]: The original assault weapons ban was ill-conceived and didn’t work properly.

STEWART: Well, you know what they say: If at first you don’t succeed, [fuck] it.

Again! None of these will ever be perfect! We’re not looking for some magic … flying, solving projectile. We’re looking for a series of steps for different areas that, over time, can improve the situation. As opposed to what we have now, which is legislative riders snuck into appropriations bills that prevent the ATF from inspecting gun dealers’ inventories, and bills that make it harder to put disturbed individuals on “do not buy” lists, and laws exempting gun-makers from any legal accountability for their product.

I mean – people, God forbid McDonald’s doesn’t tell you how hot their hot, steaming coffee is! That happens, and you’re taking the money train to McPunitive Damage Town. But an epidemic of gun violence? “Oh, we can’t! Our hands our tied! We can’t do anything!” We are a nation of overreacters to everything. We have, step-by-step, child-proofed this entire country. Twenty years ago, a guy threw a rock over an overpass and it hit a car windshield, and now, every overpass in the country is like a Habitrail! It’s just got a giant [?]! Football stadiums have giant nets behind the goalposts so you don’t get hit by the ball you’re supposed to be watching!

We can’t do anything about this? How about we make assault weapons available, but only at shooting ranges? Make guns less sexy so they won’t be considered so cool by young people? The next Jason Bourne movie stars Woody Allen, how ’bout that? “I’m not really a gun person. It’s not so much the killing, but the loading and the cleaning; it’s just – it’s a lotta work.” Or even better: creative sound editing to take away the “cool gun” factor.

MONTAGE: Movie shootout scenes with gunfire replaced with random amusing sound effects.

STEWART: See? Those silly sound effects completely dulled my desire to get caught in a violent and bloody three-way Mexican standoff.

And if you don’t like any of those solutions, please, we’d love to hear yours! There are no bad ideas.

REP. LOUIE GOHMERT (R-TX) [01/04/13]: I refuse to play the game of assault weapon because that’s any weapon. It’s a hammer, it’s – article came out this week; the massive number that are killed with hammers […]

STEWART: Okay, uh … if you wanna regulate … hammers, we could try that. Would it be possible also to regulate bags of hammers, or anyone as dumb as that?

But aside from hammer control – which, by the way, was a great MC Hammer album – do you have any other ideas for reducing gun violence?

LAPIERRE [12/21/12]: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

STEWART: So, the school principal with a gun is gonna stop a guy with an assault rifle and a bulletproof vest? You know, I don’t think Principal Belding is as badass as you think he might be.

Here’s the problem. Technology has democratized carnage. And it’s very weird to me that gun enthusiasts won’t even entertain – let me amend that: some gun enthusiasts won’t entertain the idea of commonsense law enforcement supporting small-bore, so to speak, moves to try and reign in this violence. What’s really going on, here?

REP. RICHARD HUDSON (R-NC) [01/06/13]: We have Constitutional freedom – the right to keep and bear arms in this country.

STEWART: Yeah, yeah, “for a well regulated militia”, not a personal arsenal free-for-all. There’s all sorts of stuff you can’t have already: tanks, F-16 fighter jets, surface-to-air anything. When that Constitution was written, people had muskets. So … okay, you can have all the muskets you want. You can even have assault muskets for all I care. Jazz it up with a bayonet. Go [fucking] nuts. But why is it that there is no other issue in this country, with as dire public safety consequences as this, that we are unable to make even the most basic steps towards putting together a complex plan of action to stop this epidemic’s spread? What is really going on, here?

STEVE DOOCY [01/07/13]: I think you, like a lot of people, Joshua, are worried that the federal government’s gonna come after our guns.

STEWART: Now we’re getting somewhere. So, this isn’t really about the Constitution, or efficacy of regulation, or intruder defense. It’s about how perilously close some people in this country feel they’re living to a tyrant’s rule.

MARINE CPL. JOSHUA BOSTON [01/07/13]: It’s something we’ve seen happen time and time again in history, with Stalin, happened in Cambodia, and then, of course, the Third Reich. No-one saw that coming until it was too late.

ALEX JONES [01/07/13]: Hitler took the guns! Stalin took the guns! Mao took the guns! Fidel Castro took the guns! Hugo Chavez took the guns! And I’m here to tell you: 1776 will commence again if you take our firearms!

STEWART: Holy [shit]! No-one’s taking away all the guns. But now, I get it. Now, I see what’s happening. So, this is what it is. Their paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can’t even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of Imaginary Hitler.

The only nits I have to pick are with Stewart’s uncritical usage of the vague and misleading “assault weapons” term (there are “assault rifles”, but virtually any item can be labeled an “assault weapon” by parties seeking to restrict their availability) and his repeated assertion that gun violence is an “epidemic” in the U.S., given that gun-related homicides and other violent crimes have been steadily decreasing for decades. It’s always important to remember that as horrible as they are, one of the reasons these mass shootings are so shocking is precisely because they’re outliers.

Nonetheless, the U.S. will never gain any foothold on the path to exorcising its gun-related demons until the Second-Amendment-fetishizing camp decides to start acting like reasonable adults and open the lines of communication.

Daily Blend: Saturday, January 05, 2013

Orly Taitz

Interesting: New meta-analysis finds most “overweight” or “obese” U.S. adults actually have a lower mortality risk than people of normal weight.
(via @radleybalko)

Damn, it’s like everyone’s getting targeted by Bill Donohue but me. I must try harder to offend him! (Which, to be fair, I’m sure can be accomplished by looking at him funny.)

Birther queen Orly Taitz ^[pictured] is the (notoriously misattributed) definition of insanity.

And finally: Just how sexist is the news media? Predictably so:
(via Pharyngula)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Maya-not-pocalyptic headlines of the day

[Manolith]

Then again, maybe they should inform this Michigan superintendent:

[NBC News]

On second thought, maybe it would be preferable if the world did end after all.

(via Joe. My. God. & BuzzFeedAndrew)

Jon Stewart hammers Fox News’s refusal to debate gun culture

The inane talking heads posing as journalists over at Fox News recently got their Second-Amendment-embroidered undies in a bunch when NBC sportscaster Bob Costas dared to break lockstep with the punditry’s complacence with the United States’s pervasive gun culture. As always, leave it to The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart to attempt to hammer home some basic common sense, not that he has much of a chance with their skulls so abnormally thick. Parts one and two:

Non-U.S. readers: Click here to learn how to enable Comedy Central videos (Firefox only)

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

[−]

JON STEWART: But recently, the sports world has suffered some tragic off-the-field incidents. The Dallas Cowboys lost a player in a drunk driving accident this past weekend; a murder-suicide involving a Kansas City Chiefs linebacker the weekend before. That led to sports commentator Bob Costas commentating on this during halftime in the Cowboys-Eagles game.

BOB COSTAS [12/06/12]: You want some actual perspective on this? Well, a bit of it comes from the Kansas City-based writer Jason Whitlock. […] From the end of his article: “Our current gun culture,” Whitlock wrote, “ensures that more and more domestic disputes will end in the ultimate tragedy.” […] “In the coming days, Jovan Belcher’s actions and their possible connection to football will be analyzed. Who knows? But here,” wrote Whitlock, “is what I believe. If Jovan Belcher didn’t possess a gun, he and Cassandra Perkins would both be alive today.”

STEWART: “And now, the marching band!”

All right, obviously, there’s a tragedy, it’s more complicated than that, and if we’re gonna start addressing issues, we can begin with gun culture, but you gotta talk about domestic abuse, mental illness, the head trauma, football, the drugs they give the guys for pain; I’m assuming Costas was leaving that to Cleatus, the Fox Robot, to take care of. But still!

What he was doing was trying to start a conversation, and … he succeeded.

LAURA INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: That belonged on NBC cable channel, I mean, you kinda expect that over there. You don’t expect that during a football game.

ERIC BOLLING [12/03/12]: It’s NFL Sunday, it’s halftime, ‘God Bless America’’s playing in the background. Do I really want Bob Costas giving me a dissertation on the Second Amendment? […] I wanna watch football!

STEWART: Really? ’Cause that’s when I go take a piss, but okay.

Yes, an NFL halftime show is no time to talk about violence in the NFL! It’s a time to watch endless slow-motion replays of that day’s hardest hits. “Zoinks! That was a great hit! Yeah, I think the guy’s brain came out of his ear-hole on that one! Suck it up like a man! Of course, he’ll never be the same again. All right, well done.”

---

JON STEWART: So, halftime isn’t the right time. Now, what about at a press conference? Like after the Aurora shootings, when the Mayor of New York called for an examination of gun laws?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE [07/23/12]: There were also bodies not even out of the theater, Dana, before he started to jump in this debate. Now, I think there is some level of political protocol that you need to have in a tragedy like this where you wait.

JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO [07/27/12]: Be quiet for 24 hours, at least!

STEWART: Clearly, in that situation, it’s not where it is being discussed, it’s when. I’m assuming that the venue was good; just that the mayor did not obey the commonsense waiting period we place on gun … conversations. You don’t want somebody in an emotional state just shooting off their … mouths.

But of course, it’s not just the “where” and the “when” of the conversation about guns; it’s the “who”!

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN [12/03/12]: Is this what you really wanna hear at halftime, sportscaster Bob Costas lecturing football fans – that means you – about gun control?

LAURA INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: Mr. Costas, you don’t know that much what you’re talking about, so stick to the area that you’re really smart about, which is sports. […] I wrote a book called Shut Up and Sing; this would be “Shut Up and Commentate on Sports”, because we’re not really interested in what Bob Costas thinks about guns.

STEWART: Right, but … why do you get to talk? ’Cause I – if I may, very quickly, no disrespect – I don’t much care what you have to say about anything. Yet, whenever I turn on the TV, you’re there, talking about everything. That’s the subject of my book, “Shut Up and Shut Up.”

So clearly, sports commentators, they don’t get to comment about gun violence, and singers don’t get to comment about gun violence, either, right, Fox?

FOX HOST #1 [12/03/12]: Ted Nugent issued a quote, saying, “We thought Bob Costas was smarter than that. Only fools blame tools instead of human failings.”

STEWART: How come that guy doesn’t have to shut up and sing? Or shut up and whatever it is that he does?

I’m beginning to figure out the rules, though. If you wanna talk about gun violence, gun culture, gun control, you gotta be a gun expert. You can’t just be some sportscaster or musician. And even the right person can’t talk about it if it’s too soon after a tragedy; it’s disrespectful. How long do you have to wait to say there should be more guns after a tragedy, like the shooting in Oslo?

FOX CONTRIBUTOR [07/24/11]: You have 600 people there, Geraldo –

GERALDO RIVERA: On that island.

CONTRIBUTOR: – on that island, and the security procedures that were there were noneffective. […] If you have a gun, Geraldo, you don’t have security. I have a big laugh when they ask me for a security guard, “but we don’t want them to have a gun.” If you don’t want security to have a gun, then you’re not having security.

STEWART: “That’s the thing about these Norwegians, lemme tell you somethin’. They don’t understand how much they need guns. It’s a harpoon culture. D’you understand what I’m sayin’? They shoot whales! They don’t know [?].”

That was about the mass killing in Norway, but at least they respectfully waited until … 48 hours afterwards. See, in fact, if you wanna have a conversation about our gun culture, you better make sure you’re being tasteful and respecting the victims and their families. Of course, if you’re trying not to have that conversation …

ERIC BOLLING [12/03/12]: This guy, six- – I dunno, 6’4”, 320 [lbs], he could’ve killed her with his bare hands. It wasn’t a gun that killed her, it was Jovan Belcher that killed her.

INGRAHAM [12/04/12]: I guess Costas does not think Belcher is strong enough to asphyxiate his girlfriend, or smart enough to hook up a hose into his garage and kill her through asphyxiation.

MEGYN KELLY [12/03/12]: Look at O.J. Simpson. […] He went over there with a knife, he murdered his ex-wife and her friend.

SEAN HANNITY: Was Nicole Brown killed with a gun, or was she killed with a knife?

STEWART: Yeah! Knife! Knife! Knife! Knife! Nicole Simpson was murdered with a knife! Does Costas wanna ban knives? ’Cause then, we’d have to cut steak with our guns, and that would be terrible!

Still, I think I get the rules now. I’m just trying to get the rules. You can talk about guns, just not in the immediate wake of any event involving guns. But with approximately 30 gun-related murders daily in the United States, when will it ever be the right time to talk about the issue?

CNN HOST [11/29/12]: A rare moment in New York City. Police say there were no reported slaying, stabbings, shootings or knifings during a 36-hour period from Sunday night to Tuesday morning.

STEWART: Aah, it was two weeks ago! We missed the [fucking] window! But why ruin the celebration?

“[W]hy do you get to talk? ’Cause I … don't much care about what you have to say about anything. Yet, whenever I turn on the TV, you’re there, talking about everything.” Perfect.

Colbert tackles the “war on men”

I couldn’t possibly avoid posting Stephen Colbert’s take on that stupid Fox News column about a supposed “war on men” by Suzanne Venker (niece to anti-feminist nut Phyllis Schlafly), now could I? From last night’s Colbert Report:

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Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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STEPHEN COLBERT: Nation, there is a war on traditional marriage in this country. Did you know that many of those brides and grooms on the top of wedding cakes aren’t legally married? [to picture of wedding cake toppers] You’re frosting in sin!

Now the threat to traditional marriage is coming from inside the couple.

FOX NEWS HOST: The importance of marriage among women rose nine percentage points from 1997 from 28% to 37%. But those women aren’t finding men to marry, apparently because men are less interested, dropping from 35% to 29%.

COLBERT: Shocking! Women wanna get married more than men do! That’s from the same researchers who found that women tend to scratch their balls less than men. It’s true. Shocking.

These chilling marriage statistics mean there are millions of women who may never walk down the aisle, and that brings us to tonight’s Word: Sisters Are Doing It To Themselves.

Folks, when it comes to matters of the woman, I always turn to one source.

[“• Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.”]

COLBERT: To Fox News. Their website recently addressed why so many women can’t get married. According to Fox contributor Suzanne Venker, it’s all part of the “war on men”. She writes:

I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me […] that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same. Women aren’t women anymore. [— Suzanne Venker, November 26, 2012]

COLBERT: Right, women aren’t women anymore. That right, fellas: Always look for the Adam’s apple. Okay? That’s a pro tip. Then, look for the Adam’s penis. ’Cause you know what they say: Fool me once.

[“• Twice, Actually”]

COLBERT: Now, folks, this hard truth has been attacked in the mainstream media. It evidently ruffled a lot of lady-feathers. At least, I think they have feathers. I’m not sure. A lot of them pluck these days.

[“• No Down Downtown”]

Of course, this thin-skin reaction won’t surprise Venker. In the article, she wrote that:

[…] what if the dearth of good men […] is […] women’s fault? […] since the sexual revolution […] Men haven’t changed much […] but women have changed dramatically. In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive […] [— Suzanne Venker, November 26, 2012]

COLBERT: Women are angry and defensive. You need proof? Go up to any single woman and say, “The reason you’re not married is because you’re angry and defensive.”

[“• Wear A Cup”]

COLBERT: And not only are today’s shrill harpies scaring good-quality men away from marriage, but also making these men deadbeats. Venker says that the rise of women has:

[…] pissed [men] off [and] undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women not compete with them. [— Suzanne Venker, November 26, 2012]

COLBERT: Yeah! Men hate women who compete with them. That’s why it’s so rare for men to be attracted to women in the workplace.

[“• Except On Casual Sex Fridays”]

COLBERT: I mean, what man wants a woman providing the money while he stays home to do, what, witness his child taking its first steps? I’ve seen people walk before, and frankly, babies aren’t that good at it. Men want paperwork! We want a grinding commute, to sit in a cubicle all day long, taking crap from that jerkoff, Rick!

[“• Plus Cake If It’s Someone’s Birthday!”]

COLBERT: Luckily, Venker sees a way to liberate women and men from these liberated women. All the ladies have to do is:

[…] surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs. If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork. [— Suzanne Venker, November 26, 2012]

COLBERT: Yes! Just surrender, and those men will come out of the woodwork like cockroaches in a darkened crab shack.

[“• Is The Cockroach Single?”]

COLBERT: Ladies, you can do more – by doing less. Maybe, stop voting, or stop talking. That’s mysterious. I mean, what’re you girls thinking?

[“• ‘Am I In Saudi Arabia?’”]

COLBERT: Follow Ms. Venker’s advice, and you single gals will finally be able to live out every woman’s wildest dream:

[“• Equal Pay?”]

COLBERT: Marrying a man who doesn’t want you to achieve anything. And as a man on behalf of women everywhere, thank you, Suzanne Venker. I trust you will lead the charge by getting out of the writing business. Clearly, it’s not in your nature.

And that’s the Word. We’ll be right back.

It’s almost curious how telling women that they’re angry and defensive seems to make them all, well, you know. It’s also amusing how these “traditional marriage” advocates are going all verklempt over a mere 6% drop in the number of men who want to get married, considering how their own numbers showed that only a third of men were supposedly interested in wedlock in the first place. I’m not seeing much of a difference, here.

(Personally, I have no desire to get married, largely to avoid the bureaucratic mess, and out of the belief that one doesn’t need a paper from the government to confirm my love for my hypothetical partner. Family history also tells me it makes the quasi-inevitable break-up far easier for all involved. But that’s just me.)

Headline of the Day: Crazies of a feather …

(The Catholic League)

Bill O’Reilly hates media operations that promote ideology

Your deliciously self-unaware screenshot of the day:

Daily Blend: Sunday, November 18, 2012

Saw Skyfall last night. Excellent movie, and a damned good Bond tribute as well. Surprisingly powerful ending, at least for me, and more than a little sad. 8.5/10.

Meanwhile, I’m busy with music-making (more specifically, music-software-work-correctly-making), so no blogging for you. Except for these links.

It seems the new Niagara Falls Reporter publisher/editor is a sub-literate misogynist who hates movies “where women are heroes and villains and men are just lesser versions or shadows of females”, because he “believe[s] in manliness”.
(via man boobz)

A more in-depth look at Nate Silver’s rather lackluster handling of climate science.
(via Manuel Moe Garcia)

Jason Wakefield at New Humanist explains why anti-gay-marriage arguments are always either covertly or overtly homophobic – if not just plain silly.
(via @rdfrs)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Headline of the day: Better than an anti-science legislator

From former Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) district:

(Gawker)

Others include “ANY IDIOT IS BETTER”, “CTHULHU”, “THE GREAT PUMPKIN”, as well as those two incorrigibles, “ALBUS DUMBLEDORE” and “VOLDEMORT”. Add in the 4,000 who wrote in for “Charles Darwin” and my opinion of the voting masses is suddenly just a bit higher.

(via @radleybalko)

Daily Blend: Wednesday, October 31, 2012 – Lazy Halloween

I find myself with both an overabundance of blogging material and a critical lack of drive this evening, so here’re your links for the day.

Federal judge rules that police don’t need a warrant to install hidden surveillance cameras on private property. Comes with the usual *headdesk*-worthy Fourth Amendment distortions.
(via @radleybalko)

A better phrasing: “Three ex-governors resort to predictably and embarrassingly bad arguments to oppose California death-penalty repeal”.
(via @LilianaSegura; RT: @radleybalko)

Headline of the day contender.

Second contender, as well as another item to keep in mind if you ever find the odd soul wondering why no-one takes PETA seriously.
(via Joe. My. God.)

While we’re at it, have this brief, pictorial Frankenstorm retrospective:

NYC shortly after Hurricane Sandy’s passage [source | full size (1024×722)]

Don’t miss this spectacular, gut-wrenching special on Hurricane Sandy’s devastation at the Boston Globe’s Big Picture feature.
(via Joe. My. God.)

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Headline of the day: An odd correction

(The Daily Caller)

From the article: “In other words, 18 percent of Americans believe President Obama is Muslim; zero percent of Americans think Obama is Jewish.” That’s … better?

(via @radleybalko)

Headline of the day: Even the Mail couldn’t dream this up

(Daily Mail)

(via @radleybalko)