Another Venn diagram of irrational nonsense

Just two weeks after Crispian Jago gave us the Venn Diagram of Irrational Nonsense (a variant of Jago’s Periodic Table of Irrational Nonsense, which itself recently got upgraded), Imgur user dehydrationstation now presents an even more detailed and comprehensive version with “An Organized Collection of Irrational Nonsense” (previous versions here):

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There’s something reassuring to the fact that no matter how wide the variety of ways these bollocks can be classified, Scientology will always have its spot of (dis)honor right in the middle of it all.

(via Friendly Atheist)

Loony Headline of the Day: Alex Jones edition

From Alex Jones’s den of hilarious crackpottery:

And here’s the opening paragraph:

President Barack Obama is now the global head of Al-Qaeda – bankrolling, arming and equipping terrorists around the world in order to achieve his administration’s geopolitical objectives – while simultaneously invoking the threat of terrorists domestically to destroy the bill of rights.

You’re welcome.

(via Joe. My. God.)

Daily Blend: Sunday, November 25, 2012

Ac Tah

PZ Myers explains why evolutionary psychology fails to explain behavioral differences between men and women (it mangles genetics and doesn’t consider cultural upbringing).

Could it be that this Mayan elder ^[pictured] is deliberately trolling in order to undermine “Doomsday 2012” believers? The idea that he might be serious is almost too painful to bear.

And finally, for free hugs, go to kitty:
(via @BuzzFeedAndrew)

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If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Fail Quote: Creationist explains why plants are not alive

Henry Morris III

Here’s Henry Morris III of the Institute for Creation Research, revealing just how dim these bulbs can get when they put the Bible before reality:

Obviously, animal and human life are different from plant life. In fact, the Bible uses the Hebrew word chay (life) and its derivatives 763 times in the Old Testament, never applying that term to plants or vegetation. No place in Scripture attributes chay to plants; only living creatures possess life.

Plants are indeed marvelous, beautiful, complex, and able to reproduce “after their kind,” but they are designed by the Creator to be a source of energy to maintain life. Plants are food—they are not alive.

So living things cannot be food. I suspect that revelation must make a lot of carnivores wonder just what the hell they’ve been eating all this time. And vegetation isn’t alive? Then how does it reproduce, if not through biological mechanisms that can only occur in living organisms? How does photosynthesis work in something that’s lifeless? Any answers to that in his book of fairy tales?

And somehow, it only gets better from there. Did you know that all living things can also move? (Which, if plants aren’t alive, must make tropism and especially rapid plant movement – think Venus Flytraps – particularly tricky to explain.) Or that all living things have blood? (Way to discriminate against 90% of life on Earth, dude.) Or that, of course, all living things have a soul? (So there must be a doggy heaven!) And naturally, all that comes together to prove how those doggone evolutionists are, like, totally wrong. Bet you didn’t know that, did ya, you fancy-pants naturalist with your science and stuff?

Well, I still don’t. But at least The Sensuous Curmudgeon does a nice job pointing and laughing at all the stupid. Go there and join in the hilarity. (Or despair at the fact that these whackjobs exist and are an actual force in the modern U.S. political machine. Either way.)

(via Rob F)

Tags: Henry Morris III • Institute for Creation Research • plants • vegetation • Creationism • life

2011: This Year In Crazy

Just in case you’d forgotten, here’s Tom Tomorrow with a reminder of just how insane this past year has been:

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So … 2012, anyone?

(via Political Irony)

Tags: Tom Tomorrow • This Year In Crazy • This Modern World • 2011 • Republicans

For those who think Harold Camping got the date wrong …

Note to Christians: If you think that Harold Camping’s “May 21 Rapture” was bullshit because he got the date wrong, you’re still crazy. For those who don’t get it, here’s a little picture:

Nothing funnier than kooks trying to out-kook each other.

(via Pharyngula)

Insanity pictured

There are a few ways to spot people who are genuinely, even dangerously, kooky. This is one of them:

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Time to play “pick your favorite”? I rather like the one with Uncle Sam going “Jihad?! I’ll give you jihad you miserable, ragheaded, heathen bastards!” … Such style and eloquence, don’t you think?

(via @todayspolitics)

Crazy preacher claims Harry Potter is an enemy of God

This is more than kooky; it’s disgusting.

I rolled my eyes when she bleated that “had it been in the Old Testament, Harry Potter would’ve been put to death!”. I cringed when a kid said “Amen!”. And I wanted to headdesk when the young crowd broke out in applause.

Fundies: Come for the batshit crazy, stay for the child abuse.

(via Joe. My. God.)

Demon Pig Spirit Exorcism!

Is it wrong of me to feel nothing more than derisory amusement at watching this?

Well, okay, I do feel something more.

Pity.

(via Joe. My. God.)

Daily Blend: Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Chrissy Lee Polis

• AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Horrific beating of transgender woman [pictured] at a Baltimore, MD McDonald’s “proves that [far-Righters] are right” about “bathroom bills”.

• Well, I’ll be damned. House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) apparently considering slashing oil company subsidies.
  (via @todayspolitics)

• Kimberly Daniels, candidate for Jacksonville, FL City Council, über-crackpot.

• People actually let Victoria Jackson write for them?

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Daily Blend: Thursday, March 24, 2011

Bill Donohue

• Doggycide: Gulfport, Mississippi cop responds to report of break-in, shoots dog six times while animal tied up in owner’s back yard. Dog put down at vet’s. Features most understated headline I’ve yet seen.
  (via The Agitator)

• Bill Donohue [pictured]: Those who oppose forcing women seeking an abortion to visit a bullshit-peddling anti-abortion “pregnancy crisis center” are resisting “informed consent”.

• This is cool, funny, interesting, revealing and saddening, all at once. Bizarre combo.
  (via Fark)

• Venezuela President Hugo Chavez: Capitalism may be to blame for lack of life on Mars. Not sure if serious.
  (via The Agitator)

• Actual Expert Too Boring For TV. Unless he gets stuck with an irritable, airheaded news anchor.

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Daily Blend: Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Gov. Paul LePage (R-ME)

• Maine Gov. Paul LePage (R) [pictured] orders removal of pro-labor mural from … Department of Labor headquarters.
  (via @todayspolitics)

• FFS: Supreme Court considering whether to reinstate copyright status to public domain works such as Shakespeare.
  (via @ebertchicago)

• Lies a-flyin’: PolitiFact looks back on the top ten healthcare reform falsehoods since the law was passed.

• Also, PolitiFact takes a begrudging look at all those whacky chain emails of late. Surprise: Not much truth found within.

If you have any story suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments or send them in.

Saudi Arabia arrests Israeli vulture for espionage

Zionist vultures!

Some of these stories require a lot of effort to not just parody the living hell out of them. Like this latest bit of idiocy out of animal-fearing Saudi Arabia:

Saudi Arabian officials have reportedly arrested a vulture suspected of being a Mossad spy, after the bird, tagged by Israeli scientists, flew into Saudi territory today.

Haaretz reports:

The bird was found in a rural area of the country wearing a transmitter and a leg bracelet bearing the words "Tel Aviv University", according to the reports, which surfaced first in the Israeli daily Ma'ariv.

But, according to Haaretz, "residents and local reporters told Saudi Arabia's Al-Weeam newspaper that the matter seemed to be a 'Zionist plot.'"

Taking into account their recent “Zionist sharks!” nonsense, one must wonder if they haven’t all been standing in the desert sun a little too long over there.

(via @todayspolitics)

Obama wants to give the United States back to the Indians!

Pictured: Indian sympathizer! [source]

You really can’t ever stop and think that the far-Right has reached its apex of crazy in its efforts of finding new and ridiculous ways to attack President Obama. Just the fact that some, like the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer and the WorldNetDaily, are now claiming that the President wants to turn the United States over to the Native Americans, regardless of what garbled rationale they may come up with, should be enough to cement the fact that they’re either incredibly moronic or incredibly full of shit. And at this point, it really doesn’t matter which it is (though it’s quite possibly both) – the lunacy that results is the same.

Gary Bauer insanely equates progressives to terrorists

Gary Bauer [source: Top of the Ticket | Los Angeles Times]

There’s a piece over at Human Events by über-wingnut Gary Bauer that may just be the single most insane screed against liberals (or, as they’re known by conservatives these days, “progressives”^[1]) I’ve ever read. Even intellectual swamps like the WorldNetDaily seem to avoid employing the sort of rhetoric and above-ridiculous comparisons present in this thing. The whole thing is about how President Obama supposedly has both a “strong affection” and “such an affinity” for Islam – because merely vying to uphold the inalienable rights and freedoms of adherents of a faith that may number anywhere from 1.3 million to 7 million Americans^[2] is akin to “Islamophilia”. (Also, it makes you a secret Muslim.)

The premise may be about Obama’s supposed connection with Islam (and I forewarn you: he fucking has none), but the rest is tellingly disjointed, jumping from Obama to random British politicians and spending much time trying to equate liberals (er, progressives) with Islamic extremists. No, seriously; he actually compares American (and generally Western) liberals with bomb-lobbing terrorists. Check out this necrotic start where he presents this incredibly absurd viewpoint:

Obama’s left-wing progressivism varies with Islamism on many issues. But their adherents find common cause in a common enemy: the Judeo-Christian worldview at the heart of Western democracy.

At first glance, it would seem an unlikely alliance. Progressives theoretically want to move us forward, while Islamists wish to take us back to 7th Century-style theocracies. Progressive politicians push for marriage for homosexuals, while the Islamists push brick walls on top of them. Cultural progressives celebrate sexual licentiousness; Islamists punish it with death.

So … you’re saying that liberals and religious extremists aren’t the same, not by a planet-sized margin?

But such differences between the left and radical Islam fade to irrelevance in the face of such common enemies as traditional Christianity, Judaism, Israel, free enterprise and the very idea of America itself.

Benny Hinn and the Jacket of Death

Televangelist Benny Hinn must have hidden some bricks in his coat when he performed at this spectacle^[1].

Knowing that millions of people take this sort of abject clownery seriously is one factor that steadily erodes my faith in humanity.

(via Pharyngula)

^[1] There’s a word with more than one appropriate connotations if I ever saw one.

Tags: Benny Hinn • televangelists • faith healing • Christianity • fundies

Glenn Beck: Desperate circus clown or just plain crazy?

Sorry for the next-to-nil amount of blogging these past few days. I’ve been dragged down by a mixture of … well, just apathy, really. But here to reassure you that I still care that there’s plenty of crazy in the world to go around, I give you: This “what the hell is he even talking about?” moment, featuring everyone’s favorite top-grade loony, Glenn Beck, as he tries to advance his latest conspiracy theory involving Vietnam War-era radical underground organisation, the “Weather Underground”:

Somewhere, there must be a number of psychiatrists who study Beck’s case with a mixture of interest and confusion as they try to figure out, perhaps forever unsuccessfully, whether he’s just doing his best to pander to his audience of delusional wingnuts or whether he truly is that completely insane.

Tags: Glenn Beck • Weather Underground • crazy • The Simpsons

Are you dark-sided non-Christian, too?

Because everyone needs to be reminded, every now and again, where religiosity can lead: meet the lovely Marguerite Perrin, who was featured (twice) on reality TV show Trading Spouses.

There are so many easy quips and one-liners I could unload here that it makes my brain fizz. So instead, here’s what I consider to be a much more appropriate reaction:

Oh, True Fundies^TM.

(via friend Gene Burmington)

FAIL Quote of the Day: When even stupid is ashamed of Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh [source: Synthstuff]

From the odious gasbag on yesterday’s broadcast of his radio show:

You know, a couple of days after the health care bill had been signed into law Obama ran around all over the country saying, “Hey, you know, I’m looking around. The earth hadn’t opened up. There’s no Armageddon out there. The birds are still chirping.” I think the earth has opened up. God may have replied. This volcano in Iceland has grounded more airplanes — airspace has more affected — than even after 9/11 because of this plume, because of this ash cloud over Northern and Western Europe. At the Paris airport they’re telling people to head to the train station to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,” basically a week from now. It’s got everybody in a shutdown. Earth has opened up. I don’t know whether it’s a rebirth or Armageddon. Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

Yes, folks. He’s actually blaming the Iceland volcano, whose plume has paralyzed air travel over most of Europe, on the passage of healthcare reform.

Other than pointing out that A) it takes a god with a rather dysfunctional sense of humor or irony to punish Europe for the passage of an American bill in the USA, and that B) he’s usurping Pat Robertson’s throne as Interpreter of Random Natural Events as God’s Will in Reaction to Random Human Achievements … there really isn’t all that much left to say about it.

(via @ebertchicago)

Daily Blend: 03/19/10 – Don’t worry, it didn’t affect me (I think)

Crazy loons, cat-fights, dirty typos and weird water – bow before my mastery of variety.

• Investigations reveal that more and more companies are bringing up legal exemptions to avoid complying with Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests – moreso than even during the Bush years – despite Obama’s public declaration of more transparency in the government and federal organizations.
  (via Dispatches From the Culture Wars)

• The new face of crazy in Texas? Expect him as the Lone Star State’s next Governor.
  (via Dispatches From the Culture Wars)

• Baby vs. kitty!
  (via Diaphanitas)

• Study links childhood bullying to cognitive impairments and other changes in the brain. Having been a victim of more than my fair share of bullying myself, I find a notable interest in this story and have two thoughts: 1) it truly is the scars that you cannot see that can hurt the most, and 2) this is more of a reason for anyone who claims that being bullied is just “part of growing up” and “toughens you up” to be punched in the face.
  (via The Daily Grail)

• [NSFW] You had to know that this would happen eventually …

• Amazing water stories: buried beneath a desert …
  (via The Daily Grail)

• … And on the Moon! (Really?)
  (via The Daily Grail)

As always, if you have any story suggestions, feel free to send them in.