Saturday, May 26, 2012

Maher hits on Birthers with Romney “wiferism” parody

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Well howdy-ho, it’s yet another awesome Bill Maher segment, this time wherein he uses Mitt Romney’s Mormonism to crack on the far-Right crazies who still refuse to believe that the President wasn’t born on Neptune:

Transcript: (click the [+/-] to open/close →) []

Original transcript via Crooks and Liars [slightly edited]:

BILL MAHER: Birtherism has […] we mentioned it last week and I thought maybe it would go away – it didn’t; it came back even worse. Donald Trump, having a fundraiser for Mitt Romney, came out yesterday, full-bore, said, “No, look in Kenya, that’s where you’ll find him.” There was a congressman named Mike Coffman, Republic[an] of Colorado, Republican from Douchebagville. […] This is what he [said], he said, “I don’t know whether Barack Obama was born in the U.S. of A., but I do know this: that in his heart, he’s not an American.” And who would know that better than Mike Coffman?

So, you know what? The media can keep giving this story oxygen, but I think they're neglecting a much bigger scandal, which is wiferism. Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying I believe in that. I just say he was born in a Mormon compound, I'm not a wifer, but for some reason he has never shown his original marriage certificate and we'd like to show it to you now.

Now I'm getting a lot of my information, I must say from a book called Me So Romney, the Secret Love Life of the World's Horniest Mormon. Again, I'm not a wifer, I'm just saying that he has the blood of a nomadic polygamist tribesman, and I think that has shaped his world view.

Now this is a copy of Mitt Romney's marriage license. I specifically asked for the original. I even offered to go to the Romney house and take it out of Ann Romney's wedding scrap book, but for some reason they frowned upon that idea and instead sent me this obvious photocopy, and isn't it a little weird that they chose to only send the short form license?

And why next to Ann Romney does it say spouse and not only spouse? I'm just asking the hard questions that the lame stream media won't ask about Mitt's unholy harem of obedient sister-wives, which I really hope I'm wrong about.

But, now look at this. This I'm told is the Romney tooth brush holder. And think about that strained look on Mitt's face. That's the look of a man who has not been able to get into the bathroom since 1988.

Plus, how is it that Ann and Mitt Romney have five kids and they're all thirty years old? And here, what is Mitt pointing to in this picture? The Olympic symbol. What is it? Five rings and what else has five rings? Five wives.

And why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it have been because the station wagon was full of wives? I'm not saying I believe this wifer stuff. I take Mitt Romney at his word. But how do you explain this video?

MITT ROMNEY: I have the same view on marriage that I had when I was Governor and that I’ve expressed many times; I believe marriage is the relationship between a man and a woman […] and a woman […] and a woman […] and a woman […] and a woman.

MAHER: All right – we did a little doctoring, there.

(via @todayspolitics)