Thursday, February 16, 2012

PETA advertizes veganism with domestic abuse imagery

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Speaking of ridiculously counter-productive adverts from cartoonishly inept advocacy groups: Heeeeeere’s PETA!

My transcript: (click the [+/-] to expand/collapse →) []

Disheveled woman with a neck-brace, JESSICA, walks slowly down a street. Camera includes shots of revealing panties.

NARRATOR: This is Jessica. She suffers from BWVAKTBOOM: Boyfriend Went Vegan And Knocked The Bottom Out Of Me, a painful condition that occurs when boyfriends go vegan and can suddenly bring it like a tantric porn star.

Jessica limps up stairs and enters home, sliding jacket off to reveal near-nakedness. Another up-close panty-shot while spindly BOYFRIEND turns around from plastering over hole in drywall.

BOYFRIEND: Oh, you’re back. You feeling better?

Jessica throws him the groceries, but then gives small smile as she walks away.

ANNOUNCER: Please, go to and learn to go vegan safely.

I can only imagine how they come up with these PSAs:

DIRECTOR: We need ideas for a new pro-vegan advert!
MEMBER 1: Um … oh, I know – veganism increases your sex drive!
MEMBER 2: Wait, how does that make sense?
MEMBER 1: Cuz meat is bad and clogs up your penis.
MEMBER 2: Oh, okay.
DIRECTOR: Veganism = better sex! I like it. How do we show it?
MEMBER 1: How ’bout boyfriend fucks girlfriend so hard, he smashes her head into the wall and puts her in a neck-brace?
MEMBER 2: Wait, doesn’t that just sound like domestic violence?
MEMBER 1: Not if she smiles at the end.
MEMBER 2: Oh, okay.
DIRECTOR: Okay, so she’s injured by such awesome sex, but she’s okay with it, so the audience will be, too. Is she sexy?
MEMBER 1: Yeah, we make her walk around in lopsided panties and a bra and stuff.
MEMBER 2: Oh, come on, that’s just appealing to sexualization again. Don’t we do that enough?
MEMBER 1: Obviously not. Oh, and get a real nice close-up view of her half-naked ass, especially when she limps up the stairs.
MEMBER 2: I hate you.
DIRECTOR: Shut up or I’m putting you on dunking-blood-on-celebs detail again.

You just have to wonder how those things they have for minds work.

(via Joe. My. God.)