It’s just a name

I know, I know. This is an incredibly silly bit of news to be blogging about, even by my standards, and especially considering how my interest in pop and celebrity stuff is somewhere in the gutter along with my interest in sports, school and fashion. But it’s just too amusing – in the sense that it’s incredibly ridiculous – not to mention: Lindsay Lohan’s legal team is suing financial company E-Trade over its latest ad in their signature smartypants-talking-baby series for $100 million … because it features a girl named “Lindsay” (sans surname). And this, supposedly, violates Miss Precious Lohan’s “single-name recognition” rights.

First of all, the commercial-in-question:

Two casual mentions of the name. Which, apparently, is good enough cause for this sort of a reaction:

Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said.

"They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Ovadia wants an injunction to force the spot off the air, and the Lindsay camp wants every last copy of the commercial.

[…]

The lawyer said that since the spot was seen by hundreds of millions of people watching the Super Bowl and Winter Olympics finals, the firm has garnered great profits.

She says Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.

*sighs* In an ideal world, any lawyer approached with this sort of a demand for a lawsuit would end up in a fit of derisory laughter. But, problematically, I’ve heard that not all real-life lawyers are as ethical, or even competent, as the ones we see on TV. Nope – in this pane of existence, suing a commercial for carrying a brief mention to a fictional talking baby character who has the same name as you is perfectly fine. In fact, it’s good enough for $100-fucking-million.

I can assure you that I, for one, would certainly not have thought of a certain washed-up starlet if I’d heard that commercial without knowing about this frivolous lawsuit. Go back in your gutter, Lindsay. You’re better off when you’re not in the news these days.

(via Fark)