Because I just love tearing bigoted morons apart

I don’t usually engage in taking on random twits and cranks around the Web for spewing meaningless tripe, if only because small-time kooks just don’t usually interest me all that much. But ever since discovering the likes of Pat from Political Byline when he launched what has to be the single most hilarious flame-war I’ve ever seen in my decade spent on the Web, I’ve found myself almost holding my sides in breathless laughter as I watch him spread his imbecility, then get torn apart for it, and (subsequently still) respond like a 4-year-old with distemper to any dissent or criticism by hurtling feces made of “FASCISM!!!11!” at his critics. He’s truly a barrel of laughs. (I mean, seriously: not to resort to ad hominem, but the guy is literally the culmination of just about every possible “loser” stereotype in one: fat, jobless, middle-aged dude living in his mother’s basement, doesn’t have a car, and is stupid, vile, ignorant, bigoted, dishonest, cowardly, and has anger management issues, all at once, I shit you not. And all this is through his own admission, except for the last few, which are gleamed through his posts and rants.)

But anyway. Thanks to Ed Brayton also being interested in mocking the little dolt for assured lulzes, here is the latest bit of racist dumbassery from Pat’s blog, on the subject of the four police officers who were ambushed and murdered by a man who was later killed himself. This really is the epitome of far-right-wing crankery:

For putting a hamburger-headed looking Negro thug out of his own damned misery, the Seattle Police Department deserves a huge medal, maybe even a raise. That is right, I said it, I am glad as hell, that this black thug is dead. Truth is, this black bastard should have been executed, long ago, for his damned crimes in the first place. This is why; I believe that death penalty is a sane solution to our Prison overcrowding system. However, because we live in a liberal society, that believe that dirtball thugs like this have rights too; most States in America do not have a death penalty in them and dirt bag black bastards like this continue to roam the streets and fill our already overcrowded prisons.

Stay classy, Pat.

Couple of notes, though: it sounds like Pat is confusing the death penalty with getting shot by cops. They aren’t the same thing, ya know. (Yeah, I get that capital punishment being called the “‘death’ penalty” can be a bit confusing for the simple-minded like Pat, but really, not all death is capital punishment.) And also, yes, “dirtball thugs” like this man do have rights when it comes to due process and fair trials and all that “liberal” stuff. I know hate-filled little cranks like Pat would just love to have them all lined up and shot execution-style, but thankfully, most people are a bit more humane than that. (Oh, right – they’re more “liberal”, right, Pat?)

But careful, liberals, ’cause next, Pat gets all (sorta-)defensive and prepares to counter any logic you may use against him:

I know, some of you, most likely liberals are going to say that this is a racist posting. I got one thing to say; I am a white and proud motherfucker and I am sorry that you are not. Besides, we all know that the black race is not exactly made up of civilized human beings anyhow.

Shorter Pat: “You liberulz are gonna accuse me of saying racist shit, so let me just say even more racist shit to make sure I fall right into it.”

(Seriously, though, take his overly proud proclamation of being a “motherfucker” in context with him living in his mother’s home, presumably for free^[1] … Oh, GOD is that a disturbing mental image. Poor Pat’s mother, I’m sorry my dark thoughts violated you right there.)

Finally, with even more proof that Pat is nothing but a poor attempt at an enfant provocateur:

Now to sit back and watch the liberal race baiters heads explode and laugh all the way to the bank.

Oh, sure – except that, first, they – that is, we – are the ones laughing our asses off, at you. And, second, you’re not going to the bank. You’d need a job. And a car. And a spine rigid enough to allow you to walk upright.

But, hang on: here’s the best part. Having noticed Ed’s response, he has, of course, left a little whiny swipe at the end of his post. More hilarity ensues:

Look like some idiotic liberal fascist Blog and my gay stalker are not happy with this post.

I dunno anything about that “liberal fascist [b]log” (Balloon Juice – and, BTW, it’s a commenter who reacted to Pat’s tripe, not the blog, so another FAIL for you there, Pat), but it is apropos of Pat to refer to Brayton as “[his] gay stalker”. It certainly is telling about Pat: both that he has the insulting capabilities of your average 13-year-old kid, and is such a world-class master at projection that he could air a movie on the freaking Moon. You know, seeing as it’s Pat who tried to reveal Brayton’s home address (but only revealed Brayton’ uncle’s instead) and happily advised that he would punch anyone who messed with him. (Oh, wait, he threatens that all the time.)

Artist’s depiction of Pat the Internet Tough Guy

I find it so amazing that liberal fascists only believe in freedom of speech…..when it suits their political ideology. Truth must hurt, aye? Deal with it.

Once again, Pat shows how he really has no understanding of such words as “fascism” and “freedom of speech” (but then, quite few far-right-wingers do at all, so it’s not just him). No-one is forcing Pat to shut up with his hogwash or is threatening to sue him, hurt him, or pull the plug on his blog if he doesn’t stop ranting. What people are doing, is pointing and laughing. And such, is not a violation of free speech, li’l Pat. Sorry.

Further more, how is it, that a Black Man can say that he is black and proud; but yet, if a White Man like me says that I am white and proud, I am automatically penned as a racist? Double standards are such a tragic thing.

Indeed they are. Except that, we’re not calling you a racist because of your assertion that you are proud to be white (which, in itself, is a fairly dumbass thing – what’s the point in taking pride in something you have absolutely no control over? Might as well be proud for being a guy, or a human, or breathing air. It makes no sense). It’s for all that racist shit you say – you know, stuff like “a hamburger-headed looking Negro thug”, or “dirt bag black bastards”, or “we all know that the black race is not exactly made up of civilized human beings anyhow”. If you wanna stop being called a bigoted jackass, maybe you should stop acting like a bigoted jackass. Just sayin’.

[1] Or not for free … ;-)

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