It’s an Internetz drama!!!

Only, rather than usual, only one of them is a whiny little loser in this case, rather than both. I’ll let you decide which is which. In the red corner, is sorta-big-time socio-political Libertarian commentator and blogger Ed Brayton! In the blue corner, we have small-time Republican wingnut and delusional crank Pat! Who shall win? Below is the full post from Ed Brayton himself, because I quite frankly couldn’t dream of detailing this hissy fit better than he does.

Okay, this Pat guy is seriously cracking me up. I think we've found Gribbit's soulmate here. He replied -- kinda -- to my poking fun at his copying of a profoundly silly church news piece about the number of dinosaurs on the (non-existent and entirely mythical) ark. Let's take this reply piece by piece.

A few days ago, I left a rather tepid and crass comment at a science blog, that posted a video mocking Republicans.

For the record, here's the comment he left:

Two Words.

Fuck You.

Enjoy your victory lap asshole. Because it's all coming down come 2010 and 2012.

-Pat

Well there's a substantive argument. I am amused, first of all, by his false assumption that I'm taking a "victory lap" over Obama and the Democrats being in power. Sorry Pat, but you're wrong. I didn't vote for Obama or for any of the Democrats in Congress, so I have no need to do a victory lap. Partisan politics is pretty much entirely meaningless to me.

Well, now they're using that occasion to mock a newsletter that I posted to my blog. [Note: I myself covered his weird-ass take on the report that a new theory was being spun positing that up to a third of dinosaur species may never have existed. His response was utterly insane and hilarious, and should be mocked harder still.]

Honestly, I do not feel that I have to explain myself to anyone at all.

Great. Now if someone had asked you for an explanation, that might be relevant.

But, because I do not want anyone being confused; I will. I wrote my rather angry comment there originally, because I thought it was pretty damned rude of someone to make a video mocking Republicans with, of all things, a damned iPhone. If someone on the right had made a video like that; highlighting the bad points of Socialist Liberal Democrats; stuff like Identity Politics, the systematic slaughter of unborn Babies, the promotion and enabling of the Homosexual Lifestyle, The denial of even the existence of a God, much less the Son of God, Jesus Christ, and the list goes on and on.... --- the outrage would be deafening.

This is an almost perfect example of stupid right wing rhetoric in all its glory -- the randomly capitalized words, the terrible grammar, the fake persecution complex. And again, based on a false assumption. One could easily put together a similar ad making fun of some of the stupid things Democrats say and I would probably find it quite funny too.

For the record, that posting, as of right now, has sent me all of 16 referrals and 27 views of the said article that he refers to. Wow, some blog, I would figure there would be a good deal more than that.

Now that's funny. He really wants to do a traffic comparison? His sitemeter shows his blog has gotten 122,438 hits over its entire lifetime; this blog gets that many in less than a week.

What really makes me angry, is the fact that someone has basically threatened to pull DDOS attack on the site. Or even possibly mine. Which is such crap.

Uh, no. Someone entirely unknown to me left a comment that linked to the original site Pat quoted from and said, "I wonder how much bandwidth they have." That is not a threat of any attack, for crying out loud.

Another thing that I believe that it is my responsibility to explain. Yes, I am a Christian, Yes, doctrinally, I am a Baptist. But I will be the first to tell you, I do not consider myself to be a shining example of either. In fact, I have not been in a Church since 2006; and I will be the first to tell you, that I have serious issues with the modern day Church. This especially applies to the Evangelical and Fundamentalist Churches. If these idiots had bothered to read my "About Me" and "F.A.Q" sections, they would have known this. But because they were eager to lob an insult, they went for this.

None of this is at all relevant. I couldn't care less what problems he has with the "modern day church." That has nothing at all to do with my post, which was about the idiotic nonsense he copied about Noah's Ark and dinosaurs. Which he is about to explain as well:

So, why did I post the Newsletter? Easy; Content. Usually if it is a slow day or if there is not many things to blog about in the political world, I will throw one of those newsletters in. Just to give a different perspective. But, I guess that must be unacceptable to the secular, God-Denying Atheists. Not that I really honestly care, because they do not run this Blog; I do.

I would never presume to run your blog, Pat. I hope you keep posting such ridiculous crap. It's amusing to make fun of.

Here's the punchline to the whole thing, the comment he left in response to me:

My Rebuttal... Now are you going to stalk me? Bring it. I'd love nothing more than getting a liberal put in jail.

Uh, Pat...you can't get someone thrown in jail for making fun of you. I'm sure you'd like to, of course, but there's this pesky thing called the First Amendment. You may have heard of it.

The rest of his post is just a bunch of Bible verses. Far more interesting is the "about me" section of his blog, where he lists his likes and dislikes like a Playboy centerfold. And he seems to be entirely irony-immune. For example, he hates short-haired women, fat women and "snobbish people." Gotcha.

He loves "long-haired and skinny women," "beautiful women" and "down to earth people, especially women." Okay, really, we get it. You're desperate for a skinny woman to touch you. In another post, he put up a picture of a woman running for office with the caption "Seriously, Who the hell would want to vote for an ugly woman like this anyhow?"

Oh, and he's a "former truck driver" who now blogs "full time." I think we just found a roommate for Gribbit.

Addendum: Holy shit, I was dead on with the Gribbit comparison. Now he's got a second post full of macho threats and my address - except it isn't my address at all. Here comes the "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" posing:

I have been sitting here all evening, thinking about this little dust up between Ed Brayton and myself. The last time someone made the fetal mistake of veering into my "Scope" if you will. They got "The Treatment" from me. Anytime someone has ever done anything that I felt was wrong. I did this to them; I did it to someone who decided that it would be cool to write an article that said, "F**** The Troops", I did it to a well-known Conservative Commentator, who did something that I felt was objectionable. Luckily for her, it was an old address.

Fetal mistake? That's a breaking brilliant Freudian slip given the obvious immaturity on display.

I figure if Ed Brayton does not have a problem insulting Christians, Conservatives and those who disagree with his views, then he should not have a problem with someone calling his house to challenge him on his views or even possibly coming to his house to challenge him face to face. Not that I would encourage such behavior, but if it happened, I would not shed a tear.

So, here's Ed's Address and Telephone Number and a nice aerial shot of his house...:

Uh huh. Except you missed, Pat. That's not my address or my telephone number. It's my uncle's. What makes this particularly funny is that you were the idiot who accused me of "stalking" you for the mere act of criticizing something you wrote. And now you're trying to get people to threaten me. I'm not going to do anything about that because, frankly, I take your threats with all the seriousness they are due -- which is none at all. Like all macho keyboard commandos, you are undoubtedly a pathetic loser who is far more a threat to himself than to others. Besides, how are you going to get to me?

Welp, unless a miracle happens this week.... I am going to be without a vehicle to drive. Car Insurance just went over 150 bucks and that car is a POS. So, I cannot justify my folks paying it for me. So, This week she goes to the junk yard. Unless so...m...eone you all wanna hit the tip jar.

Maybe you can borrow mommy's car to come beat me up.

Remember Edward, you brought this on yourself, when you took the occasion to insult MY political values, asshole. Maybe next time you'll stick to science and keep your asinine political opinions.....to yourself.

Seriously, what are you, 12 years old? You were the one who showed up at my blog to say "fuck you." I had no idea who you were until then. Then you idiotically claimed I was "stalking" you. You're in way, way over your head here, scooter.

By the way, you really have to see his Twitter account too. He's begging people to come here in the comments to help him out.

Ya know, It would be nice to have some support here: http://tinyurl.com/ykdjtzk #TCOT #Christian Where are all my Christian brethren?

Reason why I asked, is they are ripping me hardcore in the comments.

Addendum #2: He wisely decided to pull my uncle's address after I warned him about it. His response:

However, I will pull it. Because it is not you. But I intend on finding yours and posting it. Bet on it.

Hey, if you want it that bad I'll give it to you. You aren't going to do anything anyway. You don't even have a car, for crying out loud. This guy isn't ducking into the punch, he's throwing himself into it.

Now, that’s entertainment for your buck! I do believe that’s a KO for Ed Brayton if I ever saw one. Will someone now hand him his giant golden victory belt for Internetz Ass-Whoopin’?

’Cuz it’s too heavy for me to lift.

(via Dispatches from the Culture Wars)