Saturday, April 13, 2013

Vox Day vs. “squee”

| »
Theodore Beale (aka Vox Day)
Vox Day

Little is more amusing than watching some wannabe armchair psychologist try to analyze a given person or phenomenon, particularly through the prism of the Internet, and wind up so far off the mark they need a search & rescue team to find them. That’s probably why I find such enjoyment in reading this lecture by everyone’s favorite übermensch-in-his-own-mind, Theodore “Vox Day” Beale, about how Real MenTM wouldn’t be caught dead using such a girly term as “squee” in any context, no way, no how:

The binding is not ideological, but socio-sexual. Now, I don't happen to know what "one of Correia's Alphas" might be, but I find it very hard to conceive that Perlhaqr is either a sexual ALPHA as per Roissy or an Alpha Male according to the socio-sexual hierarchy. He might as convincingly attempt to defend his predilection for hair-braiding or high heels. Alphas do not menstruate, they do not use their iPhones to self-shoot in bathrooms, (they seldom have iPhones in the first place), and they most assuredly do not "squee" over anything.

I see we have a newbie, here. Hi, Vox! Welcome to the Internet. TV Tropes shall be your guide.

One can be excited. One can be pumped, jacked, or psyched. One can rejoice, one can enthuse, and one can celebrate. But one can no more be an alpha male and "squee" than one can queef, lactate, or get pregnant. Only gamma males like McRapey, who revel in their perverse delusions, consider it not only fitting, but downright cool, to express themselves in terms that are popularized and primarily utilized by junior high school girls.

Wow, Mean Girls was, like, totes right about how complicated – and very, very bitchy – all this social stuff is. But please, tell me more about how to conform with the the MRA-Approved Manly Vocabulary for Socially Insecure Males:

Should he wish to lower the probability of attractive adult women recoiling in disappointment, disgust and outright horror, Perlhaqr may also wish to consider excising "OMG", "ZOMG", "soooooooo", and "One Direction" from his vocabulary.

You may take our ‘OMG’s and our ‘Biebz Foreverz’s, but you will never take our smileys! =(

Today’s moment of funny was brought to you by the Society for the Preservation of Rigidly Narrow Social Roles and Antiquated Norms. (You’re welcome.)