Wednesday, June 01, 2011

WashTimes’s Charles Hurt’s fetishistic ode to Sarah Palin

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Charles Hurt
Charles Hurt

This piece by Charles Hurt at the Washington Times is quite possibly the creepiest, most fetishistic ode to Sarah Palin’s faux-patriotic jingoistic attention-whoring that I’ve ever seen:

RAPIDAN, Va. — On the very weekend America paused to remember all those whose sacrifices are the blood fruit of our freedom, rolling in like thunder, clad in black leather, was yet another red-white-and-blue bundle of American sacrifice and patriotism.

Just in time to ensure that no backyard barbecue anywhere in America was without joy, debate, rancor, confusion, fist-fights, something.

Back into our lives rode Sarah of Alaska, Maid of the Bering Sea, devoured, ogled and debated by the masses.

She is our modern Joan of Arc, dressed in black leather chaps, hunting camo or fishing boat slicker, unafraid to mount her steed, whether a Harley or a snow machine. She is a woman, bloody hands, capable of any man’s task — even that Holy Grail of politics with which no woman has ever been entrusted.

Unlike sister St. Joan, Sarah does not pass herself as a man. She can do any man’s work, without ceding an ounce of her gas station pin-up babe good looks.

But in most else, she shares with sister St. Joan. Driven by visions from God and destined for sainthood by way of a burning at the stake, Sarah is misunderstood here in her own lifetime.

It goes on for a while like that, getting even dumber and more inane, and devolving into another gormless swipe at those pesky elitist liberals for criticizing her – because they’re scared of her, of course. It’s a good thing Hurt repeatedly specifies how Palin is indeed a woman, or else we might be terribly misled by this passionate, almost loving attempt to fellate her very being by simpering prose.

I need to go bleach my mind’s eye, now.

(via Media Matters for America)