The Daily Mash speaks the truth about Pope Ratzi’s state visit to England

“And then there's the hat”

I can’t tell whether this is satire or merely accurate reporting. Can you?

THE Queen will today have soup and sandwiches at her Edinburgh home with an insane German criminal she met off a plane.

Joseph Ratzinger, originally from Munich but now living in Italy, wrote to the Queen last year asking if he could pop in on his way to meeting Susan Boyle in the middle of a park in Glasgow.

Her Majesty agreed to his request despite concerns over his involvement in covering up paedophilia and his quirky belief that being gay is worse than raping a child.

Experts have also stressed that Mr Ratzinger's claim that everything he says is infallible means that instead of swapping gently amusing anecdotes with the Queen and being driven about in a bullet-proof ice cream van, he should really be in a secure, windowless room and injected every half hour with a thunderous dose of temazepam.

[…]

"So yes, in that sense Britain is like a third world country, the key difference being that thousands of people aren't dying of AIDS every day because some mad old fucker in a pointy hat told them that johnny bags are made by Lucifer."

We totally need The Daily Mash and The Onion duke it out over the barmy old codger. You could make it a pay event.

(via RichardDawkins.net)

Tags: The Daily Mash • Pope Ratzi • Pope Benedict XVI • Joseph Ratzinger • England