Daily Blend: Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Situation: every Monday, I wait impatiently as 24 plays at 9 PM until Tuesday morning where my mother comes to see it with me. Yesterday was the 2-hour series finale, and still, I waited. Yet now, she’s not here. Time to panic now? I NEED TO SEE HOW JACK DI— uh, HOW IT ENDS!!!

Note that if anyone tells me, they shall face my swift and utmost wrath. “Biblical” would be an understatement, baby.

• Mark Twain, arguably the greatest-ever American writer, had left strict instructions explicitly demanding that his autobiography not be published until a full century after his death. Well, that time has come.

• And another “missing link” in the human evolutionary chain has reportedly been found: Home gautengensis, 3-foot-tall tree-swinger. Countdown to simultaneous media hype-gasm and creationist whine-fest in 3 … 2 …
  (via The Daily Grail)

• The face of a 700-year-old medieval knight who was killed in the Scotland’s Wars of Independence, reconstructed with modern technology. Freaky cool.
  (via The Daily Grail)

• White House and Congressional Democrats may have finally reached a deal for legislation that would repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Now the question turns to how many more delays – 90% of them incurred by Republicans, no doubt – will take place before any further developments occur.
  (via @nytimes)

• To anyone who still thinks the Arizona anti-immigration sentiment (not just the new law) isn’t at least partially fueled by plain racism: state education officials want to reassign (ie. harass) teachers with foreign accents.
  (via Fark)

• Hungry hungry hippo Thirsty thirsty elephant. W/ pic that’ll make your day, probably.
  (via Fark)

• Top 5 satirical Twitter accounts (including my favorite, @FakeAPStylebook). Includes the self-evidently titled @BPGlobalPR: “I'm sorry, are people mad at us for drilling in the ocean?!? Maybe God shouldn't have put oil there in the first place. DUH. #bpcares”
  (via Fark)

• “The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail.” Read enough yet?
  (via Fark)

• Finally, a compassionate airline … flight crew. Ha, fooled ya. Compassionate airlines don’t exist, silly.
  (via Fark)

• When you’re asleep on a long plane ride and someone’s kicking your seat, don’t get angry. They might just be trying to alert you to the fact that you’re being sexually molested by another passenger.
  (via Fark)

• Another first-line-is-all-you-need article: “A high-flying lawyer suing a leading City law firm for £3.5million for sex discrimination has claimed it is 'natural for men to rape and beat women'.”
  (via Fark)

As always, if you have any story suggestions, feel free to send them in.