Men, wanna live longer? Stare at boobs! [Updated – hoax!]

UPDATE (10:30 PM): Didn’t you know this would be too good to be true? Yeah, this report’s a hoax. Not even a particularly recent one at that. That’s some great fact-checking you’ve got there, Med Guru. (Thanks to Joshua Zelinski for the tip.)

Yes, that’s it, keep staring.

It’s a first: blogging about weird sexy science stuff before the Blag Hag! But, true: a study in Germany has found that staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life expectancy. Unless or until the woman being stared at decides to knock your teeth out for your indiscretion, anyway. (No, that wasn’t a part of the research.)

Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

A five-year research on 500 men
Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery [a blood vessel that carries oxygenated blood away from the heart to the body.] disease.

Hang on, though; there’s some actual science behind this, you know.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

Although the article doesn’t mention it, it’s probably safe to assume this healthy repercussion of staring at breasts is also echoed in lesbians and bisexuals; just as long as the attraction is there, and therefore, the physiological reaction.

Of course, though, don’t you pigs try and use this as an excuse the next time you get caught staring a little too insistently at a girl’s goods; chances are that “No, I’m not lusting after your boobs, I’m just trying to improve my health” isn’t gonna cut it as far as excuses go. Perhaps if it’s just worded better …

If that post title and photo don’t get me big traffic numbers, I dunno what will.

(via The Agitator)
Technorati tags: breasts · women · men · studies · science · health · Karen Weatherby