Watch me fare in the Ten Commandments challenge!

PZ received yet another dummy eMail, this time from a Ray Comfort wannabe of sorts who tried to use the Ten Commandments against him to show just what a vile creature our cephalopod-luvin’ professor is. You really gotta laugh at just how inane these kooks are. The fact that PZ has made a name for himself as being one of the staunchest atheists out there might be an indicator that he won’t really be phased by a Ten Commandments “slapdown”, but …

Though, actually, it gave me an idea. PZ’s already scored a neat 9½/10, compared to the Christian tool’s own admission of Christians scoring at about 2, at best. Mewonders … how would I score?

The Ten Commandments (condensed version):

1. No other gods than God;
2. No false idols;
3. Never take God’s name in vain;
4. Keep the Sabbath;
5. Honor your father/mother;
6. No murder;
7. No adultery;
8. No theft;
9. No lying;
10. No coveting

Let’s see …

1. Not only do I not believe in any other gods, but I don’t believe in “the” God himself! If that merits PZ 1½ points, then I get the same.

2. Hell, no idols, period. There are people I admire, of course – such as Lt.-Gen. Roméo Dallaire, who saved 20,000 lives in Rwanda, or Steve Irwin, whose passionate, almost overzealous work in saving and protecting animals is what got me interested in wildlife conservationism to begin with. But as far as “idols” go, people I try and model myself after, then no, none. Score: 2½/10.

3. How can I take in vain, the name of something that doesn’t exist? Might as well ask me to take in vain the names of Ganeesh, Allah, Cthulhu or Grand Pink Flying Unicorn with Yellow Star on Left Haunch. Score: 3½/10.

4. Sorry, I have no intention of going through such an utterly, laughably stupid and silly tradition. If you think I’m gonna spend my Sundays away from everything from computers to light switches, then believe me, the problem is yours, not mine. Score: 4½/10.

5. Love ’em both, and whatever criticism I do occasionally present is well-founded and fair. 5½/10.

6. Can’t say I’ve ever killed more than mosquitoes and other such unholy creatures. Don’t plan to kill more than that, either. Score: 6½/10.

7. Kinda hard to adulterate when I’ve got no-one to adulterate on (or with, for that matter). Score: 7½/10.

8. Nope, I don’t steal. I do occasionally borrow without permission, but always to give it back (and never unfairly). And on those very, very rare occasions wherein I do take something for myself that isn’t legally mine, it’s always in mine and others’ best interests (such as saving precious Titanic books from desecration by goddamn vandals). Score: 8½/10.

9. Whoops, I may get a point docked here. I do lie, every now and then – though, in my defense, it’s always to placate others (like telling them “I’m fine” when my life’s a dreary, boring mess) (and such), and never to harm them. Score: 8½/10.

10. Now, this one is one that I can never really follow, isn’t it? There are tons of things I covet, from material and emotional goods to world peace. Doesn’t seem fair not to covet certain things, now I think about it.

And so, my final tally is 8½ points on a total of ten. Not too bad, I guess – anyone do any better?

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