Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Meet the new holy boss, same as the old holy boss

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Pope Francis I (Jorge Mario Bergoglio)
Pope Francis I

So, enter Pope Francis I, or the Cardinal Formerly Known As Jorge Bergoglio and the first non-European il Papa:

  • Anti-abortion? Check.
  • Anti-gay marriage? Check.
  • Anti-gay adoption? Check.
  • Anti-humane euthanasia? Check.
  • Anti-birth control? Mostly (he supports contraceptives to inhibit diseases like AIDS, but opposes reproductive rights).
  • Anti-science (evolution, Big Bang, etc.)? Possibly (no word either way).
  • Helped cover up clerical child sexual abuse? For all we know (it wouldn’t exactly be a shock).
  • Old White male prude whose dogmatically inspired opinion on everyone else’s lifestyles is suddenly considered infallible? Septuple-check.
  • So, in other words

    EDIT: 03/13/13 5:46 PM ET – Clarified Bergoglio’s position on contraceptives.