Religious head of global criminal organization resigns

Pope Benedict XVI

Some unexpected news this morning, for the two of you who may not have yet heard:

Pope Benedict XVI on Monday said he plans on resigning the papal office on February 28th.

The only reason this is relatively newsworthy is its novelty; only four popes have resigned in the Church’s history, with the last one doing so almost 600 years ago.

Of course, while Ratzinger claims he’s stepping down because of tiredness due to his old age, it’s not hard for most to see through such an excuse and posit that the Catholic Church’s ever-worsening-international-child-rape-cover-up-scandal just may have something to do with it. And with a little luck, the next conclave will give us a new holy figurehead who only indirectly helped his antiquated institution continue its deception. Can’t you sense the enthusiasm?

Or, alternatively, I leave it to Tim Minchin, who really just put it ever so well:

Lyrics: (click the [+/-] to open/close →)

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Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker, he's a fucking motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker, he's a total fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fucking fuck the motherfucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucking pope

Fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If you think that motherfucker is sacred (fucking motherfucker)
If you cover for another motherfucker who's a kiddie fucker
Fuck you you're no better then the mother fucking rapist
And if you don't like this swearing that this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity
Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language one employs
When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys

I don't give a fuck if calling the pope a motherfucker
Means you unthinkingly brand me an unthinking apostate, and
This has naught to do with other fucking godly motherfuckers
I'm not interested right now in fucking scriptural debate
There are other fucking songs and there are other fucking ways
I'll be a religious apologist on other fucking days
And the fact remains that if you protect a single kiddie fucker
Then pope or prince or plumber you're a fucking motherfucker

You see I don't give a fuck what any other motherfucker
Believes about Jesus and his motherfucking mother
I've no problem with the spiritual beliefs of all these fuckers
While those beliefs don't impact on the happiness of others
But if you build your church on claims of fucking moral authority
And with threats of hell impose it on others in society
Then you, you motherfuckers, can expect some fucking wrath
When it turn out you've been fucking us in our motherfucking asses

So fuck the motherfucker and fuck you motherfucker
If you're still a motherfucking papist (fucking motherfucker)
If you covered for a single motherfucker who's a kiddie fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker he's as evil as the rapist
And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
If this motherfucking stupid fucking song offended you
With its filthy fucking language and its fucking disrespect
If it made you feel angry go ahead and write a letter

But if you find me more offensive than the fucking possibility
The pope protected priests when they were getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker, this here is a fact
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking
Power-hungry, self-aggrandized bigot in the stupid fucking hat

(via @BreakingNews)