Awesome teen girl explains slut-shaming

Damn. I don’t even remember what I was doing at 13. It puts me in my Secondary 2 year^*, which means I was probably hiding out in the school library or cursing at my continually bankrupt cities in SimCity 4, depending on the time of day. And yet, here’s this 13-year-old girl talking about slut-shaming and its damaging effect on women and culture at large, and going about it with a charisma, eloquence and clear-mindedness that most adults can only fantasize about (including every MRA and “traditional values” moralist in existence):

My transcript: (click the [+/-] to expand/collapse →)

[+]

[skipping vlog-y introduction]

Today’s topic: Slut-shaming and why it’s wrong.

So, first off: What the hell is slut-shaming? Slut-shaming is the unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she dresses in tight revealing clothing, enjoys sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity. The message that slut-shaming sends to women is that sex is bad, having sex with more than one person is horrible, and everyone will hate you for having sex at all.

That message is complete and utter – excuse my French – bullshit.

Yes, I’m 13 and I said the word ‘bullshit’. Yes, I’m 13 and I’m talking about slut-shaming. [puts on sunglasses] Deal with it.

Anyway, if you’ve given your consent, if you’re emotionally and physically ready for it, if you’re using proper protection, and if you feel safe and comfortable with your partner, then sex is good. It is nobody’s business but your own how many people you’re having sex with, or how much sex you have. And you don’t deserve to be hated on for being sexually active with more than one partner.

Slut-shaming also contributes to rape culture/rape-supportive culture. Rape culture is a culture in which sexual violence against women is commonplace, and in which attitudes tolerate said sexual violence. Slut-shaming contributes to this by sending the message that it’s okay to rape sluts, because by having too much sex or wearing tight and revealing clothing, they’re somehow “asking for it”.

Rape is caused by rapists, misogyny, structural violence and institutional tolerance. Not by women’s clothing or makeup, not the way she talks or walks, not by her drinking, not by her “not being careful enough”, and certainly not by her being a slut.

Sonya Barnett and Heather Jarvis said “being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless of if we participate in sex for work or pleasure”. Slut-shaming takes away women’s rights to express themselves sexually without fear of being scrutinized by men and other women, and it objectifies women’s bodies.

What I’m getting at here is that slut-shaming is wrong at any age. I’m noticing a lot of other girls my age starting to say it, and it just shocks me every time. How could they use such offensive language in such a casual manner? It’s like they don’t even know the meaning behind their words. And that’s the thing: They don’t know.

So, if you watching this knows somebody who slut-shames, pass this video along. They could learn something! I mean, it might not work, but how awesome would it be to change the opinion of even just one person? Simple actions can have the biggest impact.

I feel so very obsolete. Damn.

(via Pharyngula)

* I actually have no idea how to phrase that in English. Québec has secondary schools rather than high schools, and it was “Secondaire 2”, ie. “Secondary 2”, so that’s what I’m running with. So, um, there.

Tags: Astorice • slut-shaming • rape culture • misogyny • victim-blaming