It appears the Internet has effectively slowed to a standstill, so I will now regale y’all with a personal anecdote about something that happened a couple years ago.
>At my aunt/godmother’s (for either Christmas or my birthday, either one)
>Gives me present, a package
>Remove shirt assumed to be wrapped around present
>See no present
>Ask where is present
>Dumbfounded expressions on aunt and mother’s faces
>Realize shirt is present
And that is how people learned not to give me material presents.
Merry Christmas, y’all.
(Oh, wait – should I be running from the radical anti-Christmas secular terrorists now?)