Mailbag: Christian tries to … convert me? (Or something)

I’m not sure whether this was really meant for me or whether it’s just some copy-pasted spiel, but nonetheless, it found its way into my inbox. A fellow named Michael writes (all [sic]):

Dear friend
I admire your way of words and your liberal passione for equality
However i wuld love for you to seriously reflect on my message below and
keep an open mind...thats what its all about right?
Consider Dr. Martin Luther King, a pious man who led my race to equality.
Consider the very essence of racism and social inequalities. To say all of
this hardship and sorrow and pain comes around due to coincidence, is it
reasonable.
One night when i was 14, ( im 15 now) , it was nearing the anniversary of my
grandfathers death and i was in steep depression. I grabbed some rum and
drank myself to sleep. I nearly joined a gang, nearly murdered my
realfather...i love my stepfaher...and sank into darkness. Ive always been a
christian, but i started to doubt god existed. But somehow i read my bible
and i rehabilitated, and now those bad habits and vices are gone from me. To
be honest, if you read thebible( i truly encourage you to do so, if not in
religious terms as a motivTional tool.) It deals aboht grue aspects. Love,
latience, longsiffering. Where do evolutionest thonk love cmes from. And if
it was an evolutionary quality developed by humans, why is it now so easy to
turn back on. My friend consider this. If your right about evution, when i
die it wont matter, ill decay and soon be lonv lost. But if im right, then
when jesus comes abain, you would haveost everything.

Next time you see someone you care about, telll them you love thwm. And god loves you, and i look foward to meeting you in heaven. Thanks

Amazing in its nonsensicality, isn’t it? Nonetheless, in the spirit of not being overly harsh towards what appears to be someone with limited typing skills, there are a few things I thought I should address:

However, I would love for you to seriously reflect on my message below and keep an open mind...that’s what it’s all about, right?

I’m always willing to hear anyone and anything out, though one should find it prudent not to open one’s mind too wide, lest one’s brain fall out.

I’ve always been a Christian, but I started to doubt God existed. But somehow, I read my Bible and I was rehabilitated, and now those bad habits and vices are gone from me.

The Bible: God’s remedy to everything, including rational thought. Seriously, though, if your story is true, then it’s your own resolve and determination that led to you purging yourself of said “bad habits and vices”, not just reading some old book and believing in a deity.

To be honest, if you read the_Bible_(I truly encourage you to do so, if not in religious terms[, then] as a motivational tool) […]

Actually, I tried – really. Sat down one night and opened the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible (I love fact-checks!) and started reading Genesis. I made it through a record half-page before my eyes started crossing over, a clear indication that no further reading of said material is possible. Seriously, if you want to knock yourself out (or are just feeling terribly self-destructive), try reading the Old and/or New Testaments. Jesus.

Where do evolutionists think love comes from? And if it was an evolutionary quality developed by humans nature, why is it now so easy to turn back on?

Firstly, love is a psycho-physiological state of being brought about by chemical reactions in your brain (as with all other sentiments). If you genuinely want to know how it came to be – not that I think you are, but still – then Wikipedia, as always, has a good primer. Really, there’s nothing magical or ethereal about human emotions, love included. The fact that it feels amazing (or terrible at times) and can change one’s life changes nothing to the science behind it.

Secondly, that second question makes no sense at all. What do you even mean by “turn[ing] back on” love? How people fall in and out of love? How some people are unable to love at all? None of it has anything to do with “who” “developed” love (which is a very silly idea; I suppose we also “developed” hate, hair and dwarfs, too?).

My friend, consider this. If you’re right about evolution, when I die, it won’t matter, I’ll decay and soon be long lost. But if I’m right, then when Jesus comes again, you will have_lost everything.

One rule for talking with nonbelievers: No Pascal’s Wager. It just doesn’t work on rational people. Either God doesn’t exist, in which case nothing will happen whatsoever, or he does (and, in this hypothetical, is every bit the judgmental bastard the Bible portrays him as), in which case I rather doubt he’d be impressed with some lame and dishonest attempt at covering my own ass.

Edit (10/31/11 3:08 AM) – Fixed a tiny typo.

Tags: Pascal's Wager • Christians