Thursday, June 17, 2010

“Make the Pie Higher”: An actual poem (sort of)

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Sugar pie
Sugar pie
Not high enough

First, I present you this remarkable (you decide in what way) poem:

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

Sounds like a heck of a crappy bit of poetry, doesn’t it?

Guess who’s the poet?

That’s right … ex-President George W. Bush.

Well, sorta – those are just actual quotes of his that’ve been compiled into that little ditty. Sounds like an attempt of his at speechwriting.

And yes, I will keep posting this sort of stuff until you hang your head in shame, America, and both accept, and apologize for, the fact that you voted this doofus into office. Twice.

(via commenter ttch at Forever in Hell)