FAIL Quote of the Day: Too dumb to mock?

A quote doesn’t always have to be vile or inflammatory in nature to to a FAIL quote. Any quote that is so stupid that it literally makes you laugh at loud (if only in a snicker) qualifies just as well. So, without further ado, I give you the genius of Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), discussing what appears to be the relocation of Marines to the tiny island of Guam (exact context unknown and unneeded):

JOHNSON: My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.

One really must wonder how those present were able to refrain from laughing out loud.

Granted, throwing snark and ridicule at something so absolutely dumb seems rather unfair, like sicking an attack dog after a lame duck. So, let’s give Rep. Johnson a chance to redeem himself, shall we?

“I wasn’t suggesting that the island of Guam would literally tip over,” said Johnson. “I was using a metaphor to say that with the addition of 8,000 Marines and their dependents – an additional 80,000 people during peak construction to the port on the tiny island with a population of 180,000 – could be a tipping point which would adversely affect the island’s fragile ecosystem and over burden its already overstressed infrastructure.

“Having traveled to Guam last year, I saw firsthand how this beautiful – but vulnerable island – is already overburdened, and I was simply voicing my concerns that the addition of that many people could tip the delicate balance and do harm to Guam.”

I suppose it is indeed possible (perhaps even likely) that Johnson was being either facetious or was trying to use some sort of a silly metaphor; either way, his incredibly deadpan air and soporific speech isn’t going to help anyone make such distinctions from seriousness. I suppose we could give him the benefit of the doubt … but this is still too damn funny and absurd not to use as my FAIL Quote of the Day.

(via Below the Beltway)