In case you hadn’t cringed this morning, here ya go:
LANGLEY, B.C. -- Police in Langley are investigating after a woman kicked a man in the groin so hard he lost a testicle -- the latest in a series of similar assaults.
"I just want to know what her problem is," victim Anthony Clark, 22, said this week. "People like her shouldn't be on the streets."
Mr. Clark was walking in the Brookswood area of Langley in early September when he passed his assailant on the sidewalk.
"I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walk up to me," he said.
That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen.
Mr. Clark said he wasn't aware of the severity of his injury until later that night when he "noticed something was missing."
He consulted his doctor and a specialist, both of whom believed his testicle could be brought down again with surgery.
It wasn't until he woke up afterwards that he discovered the doctors were wrong - the force of the assault had caused his testicle to rupture. It had to be removed and will be replaced by a prosthetic before Christmas.
"My doctors say I will still be able to have children," Mr. Clark said. "But at 22 that's not something I want a stranger, this woman, to decide."
Embarrassed by the situation, Mr. Clark didn't go to the police until nearly four weeks after the attack.
Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men, Mr. Clark said.
Langley RCMP said they would like to speak to other victims, although there have been no official reported incidents, spokeswoman Const. Holly Marks said.
The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s. She was between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven and 130 pounds with a slim build and brown hair.
Hope none of you have fallen out of your chairs in sympathetic pain. Me, I’m just covering them protectively for a moment.
One guess would posit that she may be part of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement … but another, more plausible one, suggests she’s a crazed nut with a bit of a problem with men.