Two little jokes

Just felt like sharing a couple of little jokes that're stuck in my head. They're not mine, I didn't invent them; I'll try and translate them from the original French without massacring 'em too horribly. (Also, this is entirely from memory, with a certain amount of creative license taken to fill in the blanks in my recollection.)

Mother Knows Best

Marc was a 20-year-old man who lived in his apartment. Lately, a young woman named Suzie had started renting a room (separate from his). They were good friends, but whenever Marc's interfering mother would question their relationship, they both firmly stated they were good friends but nothing more. They slept in separate rooms and kept their hands (and other parts) to themselves.

One evening, Marc's mother came over for supper; it was a decent experience for all, good food, pleasant chatter, etc., though Marc's mother continually asked if they slept together or held any stronger a relationship than "mere friends", yet their steadfastly denied. As the evening drew to a close, Marc's mother disappeared for a few moments, then reappeared, stating she'd simply been to the bathroom. They exchanged goodbyes and she left. Marc and Suzie then went to bed.

A couple of weeks pass. One morning, as Suzie started cooking breakfast, she noticed the spatula had disappeared. She asked Marc, and together they agreed it had to be Marc's mother who had either misplaced or taken it last time she had been over for supper, as neither of them had used it since nor had they misplaced it themselves.

Marc called his mother and asked her if she'd mistakenly taken or lost their spatula. This is what she answered:

"I know it's none of my business, and I do not mean to infer that you or Suzie sleep together. But nonetheless, if Suzie had slept in her bed this week, she would've found the spatula very quickly. Bye."

Can anyone spell "B-U-S-T-E-D"?

And now, joke #2:

The Risks of Online Dating

A man has been married to his darling wife for 20 years. They live together but don't yet have any kids. However, as of late he has found his interest in his wife to be leaning away, and his thoughts keep drifting to other women. So one day, he decided to act.

He went on the Internet and browsed through meeting and dating websites; he found one particular woman who seemed interesting, and whose replies to him sounded like she was interested in him as well. Infatuated, they both decided to meet up at a local park the next day at noon. They described what they'll be wearing so they'd be able to recognize themselves.

The next day, the man gives his wife a quick peck on the cheek as he leaves the house, claiming he's heading to a restaurant with friends, yet his legs take him to the nearby park. He sits at a bench, having arrived with a little time to spare.

Five minutes later, a woman arrives at the bench, exactly where he and the mystery woman had agreed to meet, wearing the exact sunflower-pattern blouse his mystery date had agreed to wear as to identify herself. They stared at each other.

It was his wife.

I'm not sure I delivered that punch line as efficiently as it's supposed to be ... ah well, you get the idea.

Consider this an open thread for jokes. =P